Rossiferous

Wells Fargo Complaint

2012-01-25T15:59:00.000-05:00

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I just filed a formal complaint against Wells Fargo Bank National Association with the Comptroller of the Currency. They’re the folks who regulate (so to speak) the big banks – you can find them at www.helpwithmybank.gov. I’m administrator of an estate; the decedent had accounts at multiple banks. In EVERY case I went into the bank with:

Certified Copy of the death certificate
Certified Copy of the Court papers appointing me as administrator
My original passport to prove I’m me.
Photocopies of the above for the Bank to keep.

and in EVERY case the funds were released without any hassle. Except one.

Only Irving at Wells Fargo was the pain. I first went in mid-December; he said he had to ‘run it by’ someone or other so – after showing him the originals – I left him with the copies and my card, with instructions to ‘call me when the check’s ready’.

I went back today; Irving was there and said he needed something or other and that what I left him wasn’t the original. His intelligence is immediately suspect. I asked why he didn’t call requesting the information. No answer.

Anyhow, the branch manager gets into the act; she gets the check to close the account for me while Irving calls to ‘reactivate’ the account. The flunky on the other end wanted the estate tax ID number. They don’t need it – the account was in the decedent’s social security number and that’s as it should be.

They refused to deliver the check, payable to ‘estate of . . . ‘ so I filed a complaint. And poor Irving, dufus that he is, has his name on it.

Any wonder why I’ve withdrawn nearly One-Half Million Dollars from that bank in the past 6 months?
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How not to introduce someone

2011-09-13T15:28:00.001-04:00

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About 35 years ago I attended my first Roanoke Bar Association Law Day Luncheon. The speaker for this occasion was William B. Spong, Jr. , then Dean of the Marshall-Wythe School of Law at the College of William and Mary, Virginia. Dean Spong had served as US Senator from Virginia for one term and was truly an honest politician. Everyone at the luncheon knew who he was.

Being so well known poses a problem for the person who gets the honor to introduce them without boring the audience. That honor fell to B. Purnell Eggleston, a senior and distinguished member of the bar. He handled it in what would now be considered politically incorrect.

"Members of the Bar and distinguished guests, our speaker really doesn't need an introduction. In fact, he recently spoke at a function in Richmond and the lady making the introduction -- a lady from the high society of Richmond matrons -- was gushing at the opportunity. She said in her genteel Southern Matronly drawl, 'Ladies and gentlemen, our speaker has served in the Virginia House of Delegates, the Virginia Senate, the United States Senate -- why, he's done so many things his Who's Who is Nine inches long!' "
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Drive Collection Agents Nuts

2011-09-02T10:07:00.000-04:00

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As a lot of my followers know, I serve as guardian and conservator for several people. A number of these folks ran up credit card debt before getting disabled and they're now in a nursing home and receive Medicaid long term care.

I'll admit that I'm not in any hurry to pay their credit cards -- they're pretty close to the bottom of the priority list, if not below the line.

Credit card companies don't keep non-paying accounts -- they sell them to third parties who then try to collect them, and then those guys sell them to fourth, fifth, and so on down the line. After 2 or 3 years the account ends up with a 'bottom feeder' who tries everything to collect. Here's the catch: when the account is sold, all that the purchaser gets is a name, social security number, address and contact info and -- maybe -- some of the account history. They don't get the copies of the original account documents or a detailed charge/payment history of the account.

So the collectors call me wanting to get paid on Irving Puffuffnick's old credit card. Actually they try to talk to Irving himself (and I've pretended to be Irving on more than one occasion -- in a sense I AM Irving by virtue of a court order) and want documentation from me to prove I have authority to act on behalf of Irving.

Of course, before I give them that authority (which is public record if they want to go to the courthouse to look for it - admittedly a long commute for someone in California) I demand proof that they are authorized to discuss the account on behalf of the creditor.

Mexican Standoff? (Wikipedia)
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Decoding Wells Fargo as an acronym

2011-09-02T09:42:00.000-04:00

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The office staff has been complaining about the long lines at Wells Fargo, especially after the formal changeover from Wachovia (which took over from First Union (and whose initials were really appropriate), which took over from Dominion Bank, which grew out of First National Exchange Bank . . . )

So Donna, my right arm and assistant, took a deposit over there and the line for a teller was 'nearly out the door'. While waiting she took the name "Wells Fargo" and broke it down:

"Where Every Line's Longer Seemingly Forever And Rage Grows Often"

Not bad, huh?

Think they'll care? nah. They're too big for their britches.

Guess it's time for me to close all the estate accounts I have there; doubt they'll miss a measly $500K in money.
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Corporate America the Correct way

2011-08-25T15:36:00.000-04:00

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Talked to a good friend/client today. He's an officer in a fair sized regional corporation. Originally he was hired as a manager of one of the company's factories that was losing money. In, I believe, a year and a half he turned it around. I asked him about it.

"It wasn't too hard, really. Yes, there were people that had to go, but mostly I worked with everyone bottom to top to educate them where they fit in and how what they did for the company made a difference. Once someone knows how the system works, they'll bend over backwards to make it work and suggest ways to streamline and save money."

I'm only a lawyer, but to me it's that simple. I'm proud to have him as a friend and client.
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Political story

2011-06-28T15:16:00.001-04:00

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Among my past sins is activity in politics; I say past sins because I'm no longer enamored with politicians and -- while I consider a number of them in both parties friends -- I feel they're more interested in following the party line (regardless of consequences) than doing what is necessary even if unpopular.

But this isn't about my disdain for elected wonks.

Many years ago I was a local Democratic Party chair; Sen. Charles "Chuck" S. Robb was running for re-election against Ollie North (who was the only person Republicans could have nominated that Chuck could beat). The Annual Salem Fair was in town, and was crowded with the great unwashed of southwestern Virginia. (and as a side not, I first met Chuck when I went to the State Fair in Richmond when he first ran for statewide office 'back when. Going to Fairs and such is de-riguer for politicians.)

I got called on to walk with Chuck among the crowd as he shook hands and encouraged their vote for him in November. As we were walking and talking, I observed the people and wondered how many actually voted. After some more thought I asked, "Chuck, how many of these folks you've been shakin' hands with do you think have had their right to vote restored".

"You know, that's a damn good question".
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Cutsey Phone Scripts

2011-03-30T09:53:00.001-04:00

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I'm back to the blog. Been kinda busy and didn't realize how long it's been.

I just called a nursing home in Salem, part of a large for-profit nursing home chain headquartered in Roanoke. The poor receptionist is required to answer the phone "It's a great day, thank you for calling (nh name) home of . . . " yadda yadda. It seems to take fifteen seconds and two full breaths to get it all out. As is my nature, I immediately sympathized with her about the mouthful of nonsense she's got to spew every time the phone rings.

Ignoring the fact that it's raining and cold out, negating the 'great day' thing, the routine is silly. To me it's a turn off. Most people don't even listen to it, they wait for the spiel to end and then ask whatever they wanted.

In the office I share with another lawyer, Emily - the best receptionist we've ever had - answers simply "Hart & Hart Attorneys; how may I help you?" It starts the call with basic information: what office the caller got, and then sets the tone of wanting to help the caller.
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Acronyms

2010-10-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

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Just had a good lawyer and good friend call me, and we had a good chuckle over her question.

I'm representing an estate and she the major claimant against the estate. I had sent the final payment with cover letter, receipt and a pre-addressed, stamped, envelope for her to return the receipt once her client signed it. In the letter I referred to the "SASE" - Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope - and she hadn't seen the term before. Actually, it's fallen out of common use; before the internet a lot of advertisements said to use one if you wanted information; now the information is on-line.

But this reminded me of another stupid financial industry story. (here we go again!)

15 or 20 years ago I was working on a Small Business Administration backed loan. Involved were senior finance wonks in Richmond and Occupied (excuse me, that's 'Northern') Virginia. Naturally there had to be hazard insurance on the property, and because of the SBA there were three or four financial fingers in the pie.

Insurance companies don't really care who gets the money in event of a loss; with multiple parties listed as loss payees they frequently list them all and then say "As Their Interests May Appear" or, universally shown in industry shorthand, "ATIMA".

So I get a fax from one of the senior wonks asking "Who is ATIMA?"

DOH! "Here's your sign."

Shoulda sold my bank stock -- all the clues were there . . .
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Dumb and Dumber financing

2010-10-06T09:41:00.002-04:00

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This is an old story -- about 25 years old -- but it illustrates some of the reasons for the failure of our financial system. Years ago I represented a major national commercial lender -- it's 'out of business' now having merged into one of the megabanks. I'll call it 'BlahCorp' and hope it's not someone's real name, and change names of others as well.

BlahCorp was, at the time, headquartered in Chicago. It specialized in commercial loans for trucks (18-wheelers) and heavy equipment (think Caterpillar, etc.) and so forth. Typically, the dealer selling the item helped the customer get the financing and had some stake in the ability of the customer to meet the payments (in the financial world this is called "recourse" financing)

SwampCorp was an equipment dealer -- earth moving equipment, cranes, all that big stuff you see on highway construction, mining, commercial buildings, etc. Heavy Lifting Inc. was a startup crane contractor in the area and bought $1Million in cranes from SwampCorp (probably $2.5+M now). Jane was President and sole shareholder of Heavy Lifting and submitted the documents to BlahCorp for the financing. Due to the size of the loan, it required approval of the Senior Vice President of Finance in Chicago; on the corporate totem pole he was #3 and had 25 years 'experience'.

Jane submitted financial statements for Heavy Lifting showing that the corporation had about $20,000.00 in equity, at cost value (not liquidation value). Jane had to personally guarantee the loan so submitted a financial statement showing her net worth of $535,000.00: the value of her stock in Heavy Lifting was $500,000.00; the sum total of equity in her other assets was $35,000.00 on a good day.

Heavy Lifting filed bankruptcy and I was hired to protect BlahCorp. The Sr. VP flew to Roanoke for the hearing. I looked at the financing and said "I'm only a lawyer, but I don't understand why you made this loan" He responded that the 'guarantors financial statement was strong'. My response was in the early days of being Rossiferous: "Nonsense; she shows $500,000.00 as value of Heavy Lifting, but it's financial statement shows only $20,000.00; didn't you notice that?"

"Um, we never looked at it that way"

D'OH

And the industry got dumber and dumber since.
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Monkeys and Bananas

2010-10-05T10:43:00.001-04:00

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I just had a client ask me about a form another company wants him to sign as he is renting commercial warehouse space to the other firm. I reviewed the form: It's a hold harmless about engineering and design work, relates to purchase orders, covers subcontractors, etc.

My client had already questioned whether it was needed; the corporate contact said "we're required to get it in all our contracts". My guess is that he has no idea what the form does, just that "Corporate" has said "Get it".

Some years ago a sociologist did an experiment with monkeys. Check it out at Monkeys and Bananas
and a You-Tube: Banana Vid (I really like the corporate suits on the 'monkeys' in the video!)

Probably a lesson for our governments also.
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Agreeable disagreement

2010-09-01T18:39:00.000-04:00

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Wednesdays at noon, a bunch of lawyers have lunch at Mac-n-Bob’s restaurant in Salem. Nothing formal, just lawyers trading stories, talking politics, sports, junk and running theories/cases past each other. It is an opportunity for an informal exchange of ideas and camaraderie. I consider anything of substance discussed at lunch to be off the record. No matter who you are, you’ve got to be able to unwind, speak freely without worrying about someone accusing you of whatever. (Good jokes or one-liners, however, are fair game.)

Attendees are personal injury lawyers, criminal defense lawyers, judges from every level of court that sits in Virginia, niche lawyers (we have an immigration attorney; I do elder-law) and so forth. I look forward to learning something each week.

Occasionally we get a distinguished visitor: Appellate judges from out of the area (Chief Justice Hassell, Supreme Court of Virginia for one), members of Congress, Federal judges, and so forth. Today I was surprised to have the Hon. Kenneth T. Cuccinelli, II, Attorney General of Virginia, join the table for lunch.

Historically, I’ve been a Democrat, fiscally conservative but a Democrat. It’s been 15 or more years since I was ‘active’ in party politics, and there have been times I’ve been less than happy with the party. Mr. Cuccinelli is a Republican – and a conservative Republican at that. Naturally, being me, I introduced myself as the “former chair of the Salem Democratic Party”. We had a good laugh at that.

I came away from lunch liking and respecting the guy. A helluva lot more than I did before I met and talked to him. Our Attorney General has a wicked sense of humor and takes as good as he gives. The kind of guy you’d enjoy putting your feet up and drinking a beer (or a Mint Julep) with.

Our philosophies are different and I disagree with a number of the actions – or maybe the reasons behind the actions – he’s taking. The Health Reform law that was bludgeoned through Congress last year is one, and I agree that there are dangerous components of it. The Health Care system is broken – at least as far as paying for care is concerned, and the Health Reform law attempted to fix it. Our Attorney General is trying to get the whole law thrown out, based on dangerous intrusion to constitutional freedoms as much as anything else. I could write volumes on the Health Care issue (remember, I served 9 years as a ‘Citizen’ member of the Virginia Board of Medicine), but that’s not the point here.

Ken’s (yeah, we all got on first name basis) attack is in good faith, and not just because of politics. Strategy was discussed – and while I don’t think anything he said is a big secret, lunch table discussion is off the record – and the strategy has a strong chance of working. Even more important is that he wanted comments from us – he wanted to listen, especially if someone – respectfully – disagreed with him. The two of us agreed that listening with an open mind to someone with a different point of view forces us to examine our beliefs and test their validity.

I may not agree with him, but I disagree less. If we run into each other at a watering hole, I’ll buy the first round and look forward to an enjoyable conversation.

Government Statistics

2010-08-26T10:39:00.000-04:00

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We watch the news and some government politico (including Pres. Obama) talks about the 'recovery' and how many jobs have been created and saved and restored and . . . Usually the one speaking has no direct knowledge what he's talking about but relies on someone else for the data and frequently the speech being given.

This reminds me of when I kibbitzed on a speech 30 years ago.

My then wife was working - as administrator - with a Federally funded jobs program for the City of Roanoke; there was a 'consortium' which managed similar programs not including the City's. All workers in the program worked for local governments in some capacity as they were 'trained' with new skills.

Ex's program was managed properly - office staff minimally sized to do the job but no empire; the bulk of the funds actually went to the hired workers. The Consortium was not so well managed and ended up collapsing under its own fiscal mismanagement; the City of Roanoke (i.e. the Director of Finance and Ex) had to take over management, shut it down, and 150 workers in the area faced loss of their jobs .

Ex and I are at home, and she's got to prepare a speech for the DOF and press release about all the workers and where they would end up with the closing down. The good news is that a lot of the workers were picked up by their local government employer. Another bunch were able to use the skills learned to get a job in the 'private sector'. There were 'hard numbers' for the government hires; there was reasonable - but not exact - data for the private hires. Ex was pleased to show me her draft that had all 150 workers 'taken care of', and admitted some numbers came off the top of her head although based on her experience.

My response was that the report was not realistic. A couple of poor slobs wouldn't find anything - they'd be SOL (Straight Outta Luck). Ex agreed, but asked "well, how many". My response was that, politically, if you went over six percent it'd look bad, but under three percent would look phony. (Yeah, I was BS'ing at my best here, too). I think we settled on four percent.

Of course you can't write in a press release that four percent of the workers were SOL. So we went to the standby "other opportunities".

On TV news the next night, the City's Director of Finance (and acting administrator of the Consortium) was shown reading the press release Ex had written, and the media was eating it up. "55 percent were hired by the government they were assigned to in the program; 35 percent found private sector jobs, 6 percent resumed education courses (another discussion ex and I had) and 4 percent will pursue other opportunities".

I've never looked at government statistics the same way since.
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REAL Financial Freedom

2010-08-17T13:13:00.002-04:00

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I'm guardian for a young man who had a stroke; he lives with his dad "Mr. B" (his mother passed away several years ago). I get the young man's social security disability and pay his bills, including a stipend to Mr. B for taking care of him.

Dad called the office today and happened to mention that he was getting a reverse mortgage. Donna knows my thoughts on them and alerted me; I got him in immediately and reviewed the loan. Basic financial picture: monthly income 1830, monthly expenses less than 800 (not counting groceries). But Mr. B can't last the month without invading savings. No Budget (his wife handled the household finances before she died) No mortgage - house is paid for. Mr. B is over 80.

The loan was going to net $100,000 - after almost $7000 in fees and expenses. Plus there was going to be a monthly service charge added (but not prominently disclosed in the application documents).

Mr. B just wanted to have the money available. NO plan on what to spend it on, just some vague ideas. "But that Winkler fella (Henry Winkler, a/k/a Happy Days the Fonz) and Robert Wagner (It Takes a Thief, Hart to Hart, etc) say on TV how good it is". They're paid to say that!

I told Mr. B that there are a dozen different ways to accomplish what he needed, and will help him meet them. The way he didn't need was this loan, or Financial Freedom servicing it. With his signed consent we called it off.

Guess that won't get me back on FF's Christmas Card list, huh?

Seriously, in my opinion reverse mortgages are dangerous; if you, your parents, or any elder person you care for is thinking of one, get an independent review from a professional before you do it. A Fee-Only financial planner (one who doesn't sell you something), a lawyer who's practice emphasizes ElderLaw (find one at www.naela.org) etc. In some cases it's an appropriate tool, but -- in my opinion -- it's oversold, wastes the estate and creates a lot of hardship on families.
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Radio Shack losing a customer

2010-07-22T18:14:00.001-04:00

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I'm a gadget freak. All my friends are going 'duh!'

I've been shopping at Radio Shack stores for 40+ years -- I remember when they were a catalog only, then they started their retail operation.

Radio Shack helped get the personal computer revolution started 'back in the day'. My first several computers were from Radio Shack.

But what I liked best was being able to go in there to buy parts so I could make or fix electronic stuff. Unfortunately that's no more.

In the past week I've gone in twice to buy something I've gotten there before. And it's no longer offered. Instead, there are cell phones, a few cb's, and 'pop' electronic stuff. It seems Radio Shack is trying to compete with Best Buy. Ain't gonna succeed.

What the mba grad who decided to do this didn't understand is that while, yes, parts are a low margin item, they bring people in. Once in, we see something we've 'just gotta have' and buy it.

Remember the Sears Catalog? When they did away with it, Sears headed towards bankruptcy. The brilliant Sears mba who decided THAT didn't realize that we'd sit at home, look through the catalog, and THEN head to the retail store to buy whatever, plus something on display we 'just hadta have'. No catalog, no visit to the retail store, reduced sales.

Looks like history repeating itself. If I owned Radio Shack's stock I'd be selling it.
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Litterbugs

2010-07-22T11:31:00.001-04:00

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Last Saturday I happened to stop by my office to pick up something. As I was leaving, there was a car parked in my lot while the driver went to the store next door. Susan and I saw the passenger door open and the ash tray dumped into my lot.

Littering is one of my buttons you don't wanna push.

I pulled in and blocked the car, and in a remarkably calm (for me) manner asked the passenger if he'd kindly pick up the butts. He ignored me, rolled up the window and locked the door.

I called 911 (police station is in next block). As one responding officer said, as I remarked on three cars showing up, 'it's been a slow day and we were about to fall asleep'.

Yes, the butts got cleaned up. No, I didn't press charges because of the inconvenience to the legal system if I did -- they'd have to bring in an out of town judge to hear the case and litterbugs just aren't worth that.

Litterbugs aren't worth much else in my opinion.
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Wells Fargo -- Big Bank Sloppiness

2010-07-02T14:45:00.003-04:00

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I've got two loans at Wachovia -- now becoming Wells Fargo due to Wachovia Management stupidity. Essentially they're a first mortgage and a secured equity line of credit. Yeah, I got the loans even though I didn't really like Walk-ova-ya, but hey - they offered me a good deal and I keep good enough records to challenge them when they screw up.

So of course they've screwed up -- but it kind of favors me. I have a "Mortgage Equity Loan" (really a first mortgage but without the usual pile of crap paperwork that comes with one) and my loan contract calls for regular monthly payments of "X". The WF Borg has now assimilated my loan (Star Trek - Next Generation fans understand this term) but tells me my payments are only "Y", about $200 less than X. Obviously the idiot doing the 'conversion' from Wachovia to WF (could that stand for "We're Foolish"?) didn't input it correctly.

It favors me as to cash flow. It doesn't favor me as I'll pay more interest over the years if I drop my payment. And what happens if they catch their mistake and demand back payments?

And get this: on the monthly statement there are SIX DIFFERENT ADDRESSES for WF:

where they mailed it from (Sioux Falls SD)
where to send payments (an Atlanta GA PO Box)
where to send correspondence (Portland Oregon)
where to send overnite payments (Billings MT - why not Atlanta?)
where to dispute credit bureau reports on Home Equity Accounts (Billings MT PO Box)
where to dispute credit bureau reports on Personal Loan accounts (Albuquerque NM)

My education is at the Doctorate level (yep, law degrees are "Juris Doctor"). Imagine someone who got an 8th grade education at a half-rate school district trying to figure our where to send something.

Don't forget, We're Foolish (I like that nickname) is number 8 from the bottom on customer non-service - see my earlier blog It's Not Just Me

One of these days I'll have to get insulting about the big banks.

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The Big Deny

2010-06-29T19:56:00.003-04:00

I just read a business blog that annoyed me. Y'all, as my fans, know my low opinion of moneychangers. (Jesus was right: throw them out of the Temple). The theme is that BP should have taken a page from Goldman Sachs handling of its role in the financial melt down. Here's a link.

B-Net - What BP Could Learn from Goldman Sachs About Crisis Management

Given that BP has handled its disaster PR worse than a kid with a picture of his hand in the cookie jar, I hate to think that the way Goldman Sachs pretended they didn't contribute to the meltdown is now a 'model' for crisis management. Hitler invented the "Big Lie" which he says is "the principle--which is quite true within itself--that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility" (Mien Kampf Vol 1 Ch 10). 75 years later corporate America now has the "Big Deny".

Yeah, the politicians use it also. And the media eats it up. And the public is too stupid to notice.

It's not just me

2010-05-22T14:33:00.001-04:00

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Just saw an article on MSN. The annual 'hall of shame' list.

Companies we love to hate

I see a lot of my 'friends' there. Keep it in mind as you choose where your dollars/euros/sheckels go.
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Suntrust Mortgage 'press 1 if you prefer English'

2010-05-21T12:06:00.001-04:00

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Recently I was appointed guardian and conservator for a young man (let's call him 'Sylvester') who got in the way of his girlfriend's car (or so the story goes). He owns some rental property, one of which has a loan with Suntrust Mortgage. So naturally I try to get some information.

I call Suntrust; they can't talk to me without authorization (I'm used to that) so I faxed them a copy of the order - they have a special 'authorization department' for this! At the time I didn't have a loan number -- would you believe Suntrust can't look up something with a social security number? Then, the rep said "I can take your payment over the phone". I asked her to think (which is not easy with these mortgage companies) about what she just said; how can I pay if she won't give me any info from which to make a payment?

Two days later I hadn't heard anything, but Sylvester's momma called that Suntrust is harassing her about the account. I call Suntrust back; they didn't have anything in the system and refused to let me talk with a supervisor. I faxed the information again. Now I'm told it takes 24 hours to 'get it into the system'. There are 24 hours in a day; last time I did the math, two days from my first fax is 48 hours -- so it should be in the system.

And about 'pressing 1'. I refuse to press 1 to speak my native language and the language of this country since Capt. James Smith and Pocahontas were doin' the nasty in Virginia's swamps 400 years ago. So, even though I didn't press '2', the system defaulted to Spanish! I had a Spanish speaking operator come on the line - they spoke English quickly. The joke: the 'on hold' music on the Spanish side had Suntrust advertisements -- IN ENGLISH. Go figure.
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Whadda Dive!

2010-05-18T21:16:00.000-04:00

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Last week my cousin Anne dropped in my office with her daughter Emily. During our conversation she mentioned that her sister (and my cousin) Emily's son Rob Crenshaw (um, that makes him my first cousin once removed) was to have his restaurant featured on Diners, Drive-inns and Dives with host Guy Fieri. Rob owns Cabo Fish Taco in Charlotte NC and another in Blacksburg VA. The show was on last night (5/17); Susan and I recorded it. And like a lot of Guy's '3D' featured establishments, it looked really good.

Every night Susan and I play the "what do you want for dinner" game. What's in Bon Appetit, Cooking Light, Fine Cooking, or on Food Network or any of a dozen other sites. We love to experiment with something new. So tonight, on the way home, instead of cooking we decided to head up to Blacksburg to try out Cousin Rob's place.

We'll be back. Soon. We liked it that much.

When we walked in our server, "Marielle" greeted us with a big smile; when she learned it was our first visit she went out of her way to make us feel welcome and told us about the menu. She knew the product -- and the recipe featured on Food Network -- and made good suggestions. Marielle is one of the best servers we've ever had. While we waited for our dinner we got complementary fried tortilla chips with a spicy bean dip.

Susan had the Shrimp Tacos -- Cabo tacos with beer battered shrimp, with soy ginger sauce, sesame seeds and scallion. I had the signature Fish Taco - Two flour tortillas stuffed with beer battered cod, cabbage, tomato, avocado, mixed cheeses, & finished with a cilantro white sauce (and which Guy had on TV). Marielle suggested Susan have hers with Baja Rice (rice with mango/pineapple) and I had the jalapeno cheddar mashers (smashed redskin potatoes with jalapeno - spicy but not overwhelming). Total tab (with 3 beers - 2 for me) was about $25.00 after tax before tip.

The tacos were 'soft' which I prefer (I hate 'hard shell' tacos that explode all over the place) and tasty. The fish taco could have used a little more flavor and avocado, but that's nitpicking. You can see other menu items at the website - click on the Cabo name above.

The atmosphere is 'rustic' (for lack of a better word, but it's not a log cabin) - a lotta wood and sturdy furnishings (being across Main Street from Virginia Tech is a good reason for 'sturdy'). There's a fully stocked bar (again, a good thing for that location) and an outdoor eating deck for good weather. My only gripe about the physical space is it is NOT handicap friendly. There's an unused, difficult to navigate handicap ramp from the very small parking lot onto the deck, leading into the main restaurant, but Allyson would have a very hard time getting up and in it. Live with someone in a wheelchair and no matter where you go, you look for accessibility.

Y'all really need to trek to Blacksburg to try this place. I'm going to tell my friend Wade -- one of the Roanoke Times restaurant reviewers -- to give it a try. The paper's already given Cabo a good review (linked from their website) but I think Wade will like it also. And I'm now a Facebook fan.

And someday I hope to meet my cousin Rob and his wife Maeghan. I think he's the first Restaurant person in the family. We've got too many Lawyers, some accountants and even had a Doctor (Anne & Emily's dad). Nice to have someone in the family with good taste.
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Marketing Rule 101: Know your prospective customer

2010-05-14T12:19:00.002-04:00

My office just received an offer to sell life insurance -- addressed to my dad, who would have been 103 this year. All they needed for a quote was date of birth.

They made the mistake of enclosing a Postage Paid Business Reply Envelope. . . .

A Block Too Far - Part 2

2010-04-30T10:40:00.004-04:00

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Last December I wrote about the ‘paratransit’ service roadblock in the Valley. http://rossiferous.blogspot.com/2009/12/block-too-far.html

Yesterday I got an email from a public service organization I work with and respect that the Division of Motor Vehicles office in the Roanoke Valley is no longer accessible by public transportation. Until about a year ago, it was located in an old crumbling shopping center on the bus lines in Roanoke City; it moved to a shiny new building at Valley Pointe business park in Roanoke County.

Federal law says that paratransit services must transport disabled people to/from homes and locations within 3/4 mile of existing bus lines. Valley Pointe isn’t within that 3/4 mile distance, so RADAR/CORTRAN riders are out of luck if they need to go there.

Why is it important? Even if disabled don’t drive, they need a ‘current’ picture ID. In Virginia, the picture ID is issued by DMV. And the irony is that RADAR/CORTRAN require a ‘current’ ID for transportation. Gee, can't get to DMV to update my ID because RADAR/CORTRAN won't take me there; now can't ride it at all because my ID isn't current. Don'tcha just love the bureaucratic mentality?

The fix: Roanoke County Board of Supervisors and Roanoke City Council simply need to amend their transportation agreements with Valley Metro (which has the contract to operate RADAR/CORTRAN) to include trips for their citizens to DMV; maybe they can talk DMV into subsidizing the trips by another dollar or two. And since Roanoke City Council happens to be the (hands-off?) Board of Directors for Valley Metro, maybe that would have some influence.

While they’re at it, they can fix that boundary silliness I commented on last December.
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How to spoil a telephone soliciter's day

2010-04-23T12:19:00.000-04:00

Some days I have too much time on my hands. Below is a letter just faxed to the named culprit and which tells the story.   The next time they call I might get rude!
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Liberty United Mortgage, L.L.C.
2030 Liberty Road; Suite 10            Facsimile ONLY to
Eldersburg, MD 21784                (410) 552-0570

    RE:     VIOLATION: Telephone Consumer Protection Act (47 USC 227)

On July 6, 2003, my home telephone number (540-XXX-YYYY) was registered with the Do Not Call Registry maintained by the Federal Trade Commission

On April 22, 2010 at approximately 7:08 PM, I received a telephone call at my residence from an automated calling service. The purpose of the call was to solicit a refinance of my home mortgage loan.

I was connected with an individual named “John” who, through his accent, confirmed that the call was computer generated. I asked “John” to call me back at my office the next day. Upon the follow-up call today I was connected with a “Brad Kirk” who identified the company as Liberty United Mortgage, LLC with offices in several areas of the mid-Atlantic, one which used to be in Richmond VA.

The April 22 call is a violation of the TCPA and can carry up to a $1500 penalty.

I hereby demand payment of $500.00 in satisfaction of all claims I have for your violation, through your agent, of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. If this amount is not received in my office before 4 PM May 5, 2010, I will take appropriate action.
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Founding Father

2010-04-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

It will be of little avail to the people, that the laws are made by men of their own choice, if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such incessant changes that no man, who knows what the law is to-day, can guess what it will be to-morrow. JAMES MADISON , The Federalist, ed. Benjamin F. Wright, no. 62, pp. 41112

That rumbling you hear near Montpelier, Virginia, is our Fourth President rolling in his grave.

Countin' noses

2010-03-25T17:35:00.001-04:00

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It's time for the census. Something our forefathers decided would be a good idea when they wrote the Constitution lo these many years ago. Counting noses has been around for a long time before that document was written. Of course, counting noses was primarily for taxation purposes -- e.g. Joseph & Mary wandering into Bethlehem, or the Domesday Book that Willie da Conqueror had done in England.

It's a lot simpler this year than 10 years ago. Of course, they still want to know my race. And here I feel discriminated against. Our Hispanic folks have a lot of choices about WHO they are. So do the Asian group. The Native Americans (i.e. them who watched the Pilgrims get off the boat) get to enter their tribe. But 'white' and 'black' folk just get 'black' or 'white'. Africa is full of tribes -- Zulu, Tonga, and a whole lot more. And us white folk aren't homogenous, either. Scandinavian; Anglo-Saxon; Franks; Teutonic. And no category at all for those of middle east ancestry.

The good news is there's a checkbox for "Some Other Race" and a blank at the end of Question 9. I'm entering "Celtic" for my Scottish ancestry. Remember, in an earlier blog I claimed descent from Rob Roy McGregor, who pissed off the English Crown so much that simply to use the name McGregor was punishable by death for over 70 years.

Now THAT's being 'rossiferous'
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To Kill a Mockingbird

2010-03-17T09:58:00.002-04:00

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In her blog, one of my oldest friends commented about the current Roanoke City Council race. One of the candidates is a lawyer who recently defended an infamous white supremacist and did a really good job. My friend thinks this defense disqualifies the lawyer from serving on Council; I disagree.

I mentioned To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee, 1960; film starring Gregory Peck, Universal Pictures, 1962) to her and she said that's different - that Mockingbird was about racial inequality. We both grew up - came of age - in the 60's. She in the Chicago area, me in Roanoke. We both remember the struggles as our country worked to get away from the shame of racial inequality, and those struggles were front page news then. But To Kill a Mockingbird was much more than about race. It's about guaranteeing a fair trial for an unpopular defendant.

The time is 1936 in Maycomb, Alabama. Atticus Finch is appointed by the court to defend a black man accused of raping a young white woman. Although many of Maycomb's citizens disapprove, Atticus agrees to defend him to the best of his ability. The community backlash and personal attacks on Atticus and his family, and how they stand up to it, form the story.

The United States Constitution provides a number of guarantees. Relevant are the Freedom of Speech and the Right to a Fair Trial. The supremacist is, in my polite opinion, an asshole, but this isn't about him it's about his right to share his disgusting views. It's about the right everyone, including supremacist assholes, rag-head terrorist assholes, assassins and other scum-of-the earth have to a fair trial.

I've known and admired the attorney candidate professionally for years and am very proud to call him a personal friend. There is no way in hell he agrees with the views of his client -- in fact, the attorney's heritage has been a target of his clients venom. But the government must prove its case, beyond a reasonable doubt, according to the rules of law. And the attorney did his job.

A number of years ago I was representing an individual who (against my advice) began doing illegal "Straw-man" loans. The government caught on, there were grand juries and a media frenzy. I got interviewed, and one of the questions was how his misdeeds impacted me. My response: "One of the risks of practicing law is when your client does a belly-flop into a pool of crap, you're gonna get splashed." Many of my colleagues -- who had been "splashed" -- called to say they wish they'd thought of that line.

In the spirit of Atticus Finch, we've got a job to do and sometimes it's unpopular. But that's why most of us chose this profession.
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Mayor Bowers is Right

2010-03-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

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Our nation, our commonwealth and our local governments are facing a financial crisis unlike any seen since the Great Depression that most of us only know from history books or (as in my case) stories told by our parents. Budgets aren’t only being cut, they’re being mangled. And in Virginia, it’s those who can least afford any cuts that are being crucified the most – which makes sense if you understand that Virginia Hates the Poor.

But the cuts go further than hurting the poor. Our schools are being forced to close, fire teachers and increase class sizes to ridiculous levels and cancel programs, many of which are geared to increasing the abilities of the disadvantaged (i.e. poor) so they can compete in the job world.

The most interesting and best comment I’ve seen to date comes from Roanoke Mayor David Bowers. I’ve known David for over 40 years – since Patrick Henry High School days and regularly give him grief. Here he’s dead on and deserves credit for what he said.

The Roanoke Times http://www.roanoke.com/news/breaking/wb/239512 today reported the following:

Bowers said that when every locality faces budget problems, it becomes a state issue and one that should be addressed by the governor and General Assembly. He said a failure to do so would be on par with Massive Resistance – the push by state officials in the 1950s to resist federally enforced integration of public schools.

“It was the wrong decision then and we paid for it over the years,” Bowers said. “I submit to you, ladies and gentlemen, this is a massive resistance in our time. This is a reckless adherence to ideology by our governor and by our General Assembly in the face of reality and dire consequences and the crisis for Virginia schools.”

Ideology that continues the “Car Tax Relief” abomination instead of providing money to go to the schools.

Right on, David.
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Judge Hart's Rule: Don't Get Mad, Get Even

2010-01-22T15:52:00.000-05:00

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In my last entry I mentioned my Grand Uncle, the Hon. John M. Hart, also known as "Judge Hart" was once Commissioner of the Revenue for Roanoke City. (Oh, as of this post I haven't heard back on my letter). How he got elected is a story in itself.

Uncle John was Judge of the Hustings Court for Roanoke City (it's since become part of the Circuit Court), 'way back in the 1920's and early '30's. Check your history: this was during Prohibition, the "No alcoholic drinking" thing. So, in theory, anyone caught drinking or with liquor would be arrested.

So Uncle John had a lot of working stiffs ("Joe Lunchpail") show up in his court charged with having a pint or a fifth, or with drinking. However, at the same time, the Elite of Roanoke (Doctors, Bankers, Businessmen and - of course - Lawyers) were happily drinking Franklin County's finest 'shine and if caught by police would simply be escorted home.

Not fair, huh? That's what Uncle John thought. So Joe ended up with the minimum fine and no jail. This caused the WCTU (Women's Christian Temperance Union) to dislike hizzoner. They called him "Soft on Drinking". The irony here is that Judge Hart was a Tee-Totaler -- never touched a drop of alcohol in his life. (We call him "The Sober Hart" in the family)

The then Commissioner of the Revenue's wife was big in the WCTU in Roanoke. So the then Commissioner of the Revenue was the leader in removing Uncle John from the bench by not reappointing him for another term. In Virginia the General Assembly selects judges; Uncle John lost by a very very few votes to Lindsay Almond.

A year or so later the Commissioner of the Revenue was up for re-election. Yep, Uncle John ran against him and won.

Now THAT's 'Rossiferous'. Any wonder where I got it?
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Taking on The Commissioner of the Revenue for Roanoke City . . .

2010-01-19T17:34:00.000-05:00

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I got a nastygram from The Commissioner of the Revenue for the City of Roanoke. Among the duties of that office is keeping track of who owns real estate so they can be taxed. I made a mistake in a deed -- the wrong tax map number was inserted by accident; the rest of the deed was detailed and correct. The Commissioner's office is refusing to transfer the tax records because of that error. They're wrong. Following is an adaptation of my letter (I removed identifing info and added stuff to clarify it for y'all)
---
First, I’ll admit to a scrivener’s error in the tax number in the top margin, first page, of a deed prepared by this office. I should have caught it; the closing agent should have caught it. I congratulate and respect The Commissioner of the Revenue's (COR) staff for their sharp eye.

However, there is no authority in the Code of Virginia preventing the COR from correctly assessing the property in the name of the purchaser when there is clearly a minor scrivener’s error. That offices’ failure to correctly assess “the person to whom the [real estate] is chargeable with taxes” as to any property under Virginia Code 58.1-3281, when a reading of the four corners of the deed would disclose such, could be misfeasance.

When I called the Commissioner's office, his staff referred to Virginia Code 17.1-252. That section (1) makes Circuit Court Clerks require a Parcel ID Number in those jurisdictions that use them (Roanoke City is one) and (2) allows the Clerk to use that number in an indexing system (The Roanoke City Circuit Court Clerk’s office does not have such a system). Nothing in that statute applies to the duties of The Commissioner of the Revenue, although compliance does, usually, make their job easier.

In this case, the body of the deed clearly identifies the property and its title history. It even identifies it as a re-subdivision of two lots with tax numbers (actually, conveyance of a strip of land from one lot to another). In the thousands of real estate titles I have personally searched, and the thousands of other title reports I have personally reviewed, a single error did not void the title when the bulk of the information distinctly identified the property.

In addition, this policy implies that an instrument must be recorded to effect a transfer of property to “the person to whom the same is chargeable with taxes”. That, in my family’s knowledge, has never been the case. My uncle, Judge John M. Hart, was The Commissioner of the Revenue at one time (How he got there is a Rossiferous story in itself!). I know of instances where a deed was delivered, accepted, but the buyer neglected or refused to record it; the property was nevertheless taxed to the buyer because the then Commissioner of the Revenue properly determined the buyer to be “chargeable with taxes”. I also recall that, as Escheator, my father and I would provide a list of purchasers to the City so that they could be assessed the taxes coming due on the properties they bought.

Hopefully this will get cleared up so that the purchaser doesn't suffer because of the COR's office. I've talked to other attorneys who have had similar experiences; it'll be interesting to see what happens.
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More Big Bank stupidity

2010-01-06T11:11:00.001-05:00

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Big Banks just don’t have sense. Here’s a plug for the small, community based bank.

From a list-serv where I’m a member, (Virginia chapter, National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys) I picked up two stories illustrating the abject stupidity of big banks.

The first comes from my friend Ken Labowitz, a lawyer in Alexandria, VA.

Perhaps my attitude here is influenced by this afternoon's confrontation with SunTrust Bank. I am co-guardian and co-conservator in a case with my colleague Anne ****. The appointment is specifically written to say about six times that "either may act as Conservator". With regard to drilling a safety deposit box, SunTrust is insisting that both of us be present. No negotiation, no discussion possible, just both of us have to be present because SunTrust says so.

After Ken posted his story, another colleague responded:

I think there must be special secret laws about safety deposit boxes. Wachovia insisted that I could not access a box to which I had a key, I am the executor under the will, and I gave them the death certificate of the owner and a copy of my appointment. They required that the agent under the decedent's POA come into the bank and authorize me to have access to the box!

(apparently Wachovia is too stupid to know that a power of attorney dies with the person who issued it.)

And finally, one of my own experiences and how I handled it.

I was appointed guardian/conservator for a lady with a house subject to a mortgage held by BB&T. The judge inserted a bunch of stuff in the order appointing me (if he'd been around in time of Moses he'd have taken a hammer & chisel to the 10 Commandments!).

BB&T did not have a deposit account for the person, instead that person owed BB&T money. I inquired about the balance and payment status and presented my order and qualification papers so I could PAY BB&T. The order was sent 'downtown' somewhere and the response came back "we need proof that the judge made all those changes before we give access". My response was quick, to the point, and effective: "Other than you, who should I subpoena to Court so the Judge can verify this?"

I got the information. Later I told hizzoner the story and he laughed.

In all these cases the banks were dealing with experienced lawyers with appropriate documentation and identification. But the banks substituted their stupidity for three separate court orders conferring legal authority on my colleagues (and me). Other than my ‘subpoena’ threat, I’ve had to threaten to write the various regulatory bodies with a formal complaint – and I made sure the flunky I was dealing with knew their name would be included – or legal action, or all of the above. I’ve suggested that they go ahead and prepare a memorandum of events as their superiors and the home office legal department will want to know why they have to respond to my complaints. So far they’ve blinked, but one of these days, probably soon, . . .

Local, Community based banks, are a whole lot easier to deal with. Their front line people can think and (unlike those in big banks) are usually authorized to do so. If there is something I think unreasonable, I easily get to someone up the chain; sometimes it’s not the bank’s fault, it’s the regulators stupidity that makes them do it. (Yes, another blog at another time) In the Roanoke area, from personal experience, I can recommend Stellar One and Valley Bank – good service and great people.

PS: full disclosure – I own stock in BB&T and Suntrust. Inherited it.

Financial Freedom - good news

2009-12-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

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When I fuss about something I've got a duty to acknowledge something done right.

I just got off the phone with a young lady at Financial Freedom -- Cindy -- who obviously knew her job and how things worked. She explained the process and the HUD (Gov-mint) rules they have to follow very well. She answered all my questions and was quite pleasant to talk to. She even gave me her direct number in case I have future questions.

Results = 1
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Financial Freedom - no intelligence (Part 2)

2009-12-16T13:22:00.003-05:00

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The good news is I finally got the information I was asking for from FF.

The bad news is it included $3500.00 for "foreclosure expenses". I immediately (within 30 minutes of receipt) faxed to the same person who sent the fax a series of questions about the supposed foreclosure. In my query I acknowledged receipt of the payoff fax.

This morning I get a fax from a Tia -- , claiming to be a "Loan Servicing Administrator" at Financial Freedom -- it's a form that totally ignores the history of my contact in this case and states she must have a "Signature authorization to release . . . ". She got a worthwhile response:

First, you obviously did not read my inquiry or don't have the education to understand what I wrote. I ALREADY RECEIVED a payoff; my inquiry was to a component of that payoff.

Second, I am the guardian and conservator for (individual) I've sent the papers to Financial Freedom at least twice and am now receiving monthly statements. If you know how, I suggest you look. Thus, I've GOT the authority to ask.

I trust I've made myself abundantly clear this time and the information requested about the 'foreclosure fee' in the payoff will be forthcoming immediately.

If you still cannot assist, elevate this to someone with intelligence.

Guess I'm not on Tia's Christmas Card List!

Isn't it sad that with the centralization of our economy the people handling our financial records don't know how to think?
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Financial Freedom - no intelligence

2009-12-09T18:27:00.003-05:00

I'm handling a guardianship where my ward has real estate with a 'reverse mortgage' held by Financial Freedom. As a rule I do not like reverse mortgages but recognize they can be a useful tool in certain limited circumstances.

Well over a month ago I called Financial Freedom, faxed the Court Order appointing me, and asked them to send me some information. I haven't heard from them at all. This is not unusual -- in my opinion Financial Freedom is among the top ten worst real estate loan servicers out there. Whenever I mention their name to a colleague doing Real Estate, Elder Law, or Probate, I get a groan in return.

The other day I went to their website to see about calling in; they have a utility called "Search Financial Freedom". I entered 'Intelligent Individual" -- the response was "Results: 0"

Yep. 'nuff said.

A block too far

2009-12-07T15:21:00.001-05:00

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My daughter Allyson is in a wheelchair. She's been in one pretty much all her 21 + years. I've worked to encourage her to do her own thing - be independent - and I'm very proud of her accomplishments and independence.

Allyson can't drive, nor can she 'ride the bus' if she wants to go somewhere. I can't take her everywhere either. So she relies on an outfit called RADAR, an acronym for Roanoke Agencies Dial A Ride. RADAR is one of two handicap public transportation services in the area; the other is CORTRAN, for County of Roanoke Transportation. RADAR serves the Cities of Roanoke and Salem; CORTRAN serves Roanoke County.

What happens if you want to cross the border? Apparently you can't do it!

Allyson recently joined Fellowship Community Church (FCC). She loves it there, and they are very supportive of her. FCC provides transportation as part of its ministry on Sundays; other days there are members who might be able to help but the folks at that church have day jobs they need to go to. They've got a function this coming Wednesday night and since she wants to go, she called RADAR and booked the trip. RADAR called back and canceled.

The Problem: Fellowship Community Church is about two blocks over the line into the County from the City of Salem. So RADAR can't take her according to the rules. Funny thing: RADAR has taken Allyson to Fellowship several times in the past. And gee, it appears that they use the same vehicles as CORTRAN.

Question: Can a CORTRAN rider be taken to Roanoke City or Salem? If they can, why can't a Salem/Roanoke City rider be taken to a Roanoke County destination?

The RADAR/CORTRAN/etc. website gives absolutely NO rules of where you can and can't go. Call them and they say that Roanoke Valley Metro sets the rules. Go to the Valley Metro Site and nowhere do you find the rule that you can't cross the city/county line. Unless you're going to Tanglewood Mall, which is in the county. But forget about going to the doctor's office a block away from Tanglewood. And I haven't even tried to navigate the County's website for more information.

SO, if you live in Salem or Roanoke City and need 'paratransit', don't try to go to Roanoke County or get a job in Roanoke County. And if you live and work in the County and use CORTRAN, don't move to the city or you'll lose your job.

Valley inter-government cooperation? Not for 'paratransit'. Of course, I'm not surprised. Our governments hate the poor.
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Deflating Pomposity - war story

2009-11-30T20:44:00.001-05:00

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Many years ago we had a state senator from Roanoke who was, shall we say, very enamored with himself. He was also pompous. The good news is he only served one term. The better news is that he provided several stories.

The Senator went through a "British" thing. He wore a cape and a bowler hat and even had one of those silly tiny stick canes. This was complemented by his attempt at affecting a British Accent. Trust me, Henry Higgens would have seen through him in a second. This story is about the beginning of the end of that phase.

Back in the day we also had air commuter service with Richmond - our state capital. One day my friend Harold was there with a client (I'll call him 'Irving') from the coalfields appearing before some agency. After the hearing they were at the Richmond Airport waiting for their return flight when The Senator came by. Harold, thinking he could get some brownie points with Irving, hails The Senator.

The Senator, seeing Harold (and Harold being a member of Roanoke City Council at the time) came over to chat. "Harold, my good man, How awre you today? You're looking jolly good you know."

Harold: Just fine, Senator, I'd like you to meet Irving Puffuffnick; he's a client of mine and we've just finished a hearing at XYZ agency"

SEN: "Delighted to make your acquaintance, Irving. Tip Top Barrister you've got there"

IRVING: "Good to meet you, Senator. Are you from England?"

SEN: "No, actually I hail from Roanoke. Howeva, I did study at Ahxford (Oxford) for two years."

IRVING: "Well, hell, I was in 'Nam for two years, but I didn't pick up THEIR accent"

The Senator terminated the conversation and moved away. Shortly thereafter the cape, hat, and stick thing disappeared.

Door Repair underway

2009-11-19T10:51:00.001-05:00

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I had to appear in a case at the Roanoke City Courthouse today. I'm pleased to report that the doors I complained of last week are now being repaired. Even more remarkable is that I counted two workers busy at their task WITHOUT three "supervisors" directing them.

I'm told by a lot of folks who work in the courthouse that they've complained for months about the doors. Heck, I grumbled for some time about them also before I sent my note to the City Attorney.

Isn't it a shame that the City of Roanoke can't seem to get anything done until there's a serious complaint about the problem? And that I had to send my complaint 'outside' the normal chain of command to get it the attention it deserved?

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Disgraceful Maintenance of Roanoke Courthouse

2009-11-11T09:19:00.004-05:00

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I know the City of Roanoke doesn't maintain anything worth a darn, unless maybe it's the City Manager's office. The City has a long history of building something bright and shiny and then not taking care of it.

Certainly the Courthouse maintenance is an embarrassing disgrace, and that's what I'm writing about. The courthouse has parquet flooring, and it's showing its age. Parquet will pop up and the city will cover over it with a piece of carpet duct-taped around the missing area, or they'll block off a section for three or 4 months (happened on the stairwell) until they do an ugly patch job. About a year ago a huge pile of carpet squares was delivered to the courthouse to go over the parquet flooring. It's still piled. But this is just City of Roanoke Maintenance as usual.

Here's what's really ticking me off:

For several MONTHS, the 'automatic doors' used for Handicap Access on the west end (nearest the Mayor's private law office) have been broken. Periodically there are paper signs loosely taped to the door saying 'push', but they are usually torn or blown off in a few days. The doors require too much effort for a disabled person on a walker or in a wheelchair to open. Given that my daughter has been in a wheelchair all her life I'm particularly sensitive to access issues.

As I understand it, the Americans with Disabilities Act requires that handicap accessible devices be maintained in working order.

While the thought of embarrassing the City of Roanoke and its manager (who is fortunately on short time now) with a public Americans with Disabilities Act suit is very tempting, I'm more interested in getting the problem fixed, now.

So I emailed my comments to an Assistant City Attorney I work with from time to time, and asked him to forward my concern to the appropriate powers-that-be. I also suggested that they confirm to me by 4:30 PM this Friday (Nov. 13) that the repairs have been ordered and will be COMPLETED by November 30. If so, I'll be quiet. If not, I'll review how Rossiferous I can really be.

I'll let y'all know what happens. This is why I moved to Salem - it woulda been fixed in a week.
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Bank of America ain't bright, either

2009-10-27T08:47:00.004-04:00

One of my best friends owns a lot in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. He bought it as an investment; no comment on the wisdom of that investment. The only thing on the lot, other than scrub-grass and sand, is a small sign with his name and home town.

Bank of America holds the mortgage; payments are up to date (said friend is anal about paying on or ahead of time).

My friend just got a letter from Bank of America that they 'require flood insurance equal to the value of the improvements'. I offered to write a letter, freebie, in my calm, quiet, Rossiferous manner, asking just which 'improvements' should be insured, and for how much?

He's self-insured on the sign.

Why banks needed a bail-out

2009-07-20T12:10:00.002-04:00

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It's no wonder taxpayers are having to bail out the financial industry: they're stupid. They over-centralized their operations 'in the name of efficiency' and try to get the lowest paid people possible to do the job.

Case in point: I'm working with a family on an estate. I routinely verify all debts of the decedent that could be a claim against the estate and send a letter to each creditor (a) informing them that the individual died, (2) asking for certain information and (3) providing information about when (or even if) the account might be paid.

HSBC (Household Savings Bank) responded "In order to make changes to the cardmember's credit bureau we need written authorization and a signature from (the decedent). Then there's a "please refer to reference number 6781-07JUL09".

I faxed a Rossiferous response, as follows:

- - - - - - - -

IT IS OBVIOUS YOU DO NOT EMPLOY PEOPLE WHO
UNDERSTAND THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

My original letter dated June 15 is attached. Your 7-10-09
letter, attached, asks for her signature; she's dead so you
can't get it.

Your letter mentions her credit file; she's dead and doesn't
care.

I suggest you have someone with a high school diploma or
better re-read my original letter and provide an intelligent
response.

No wonder financial institutions need a bail-out. They
either can't read or are stupid.

- - - - - - - - -

Given my past experience with HSBC, I vote the latter.

It'll be interesting if they respond to my fax

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Gov Maintenance needed.

2009-07-16T16:26:00.004-04:00

I know it's been a while. Been busy and on vacation. However, I just saw a quote from a friend of mine on a user-group I participate in (www.chaosfanatics.com).

It's a shame we can't maintain our government the same way we do our PCs. I'd start off with a full malware scan and then do a deep defrag with full optimization. If that didn't help I'd wipe it and re-install. It'd be well worth the downtime. "JustDave"

Couldn't have said it better myself.

The shame is that I feel the majority of Americans don't like their government in its present form. And it's getting too big for its britches.

I discovered 'science fiction' while at Woodrow Wilson Jr. High School and have read bunches of it. What's interesting is that a lot of things written 30-40 years ago are becoming reality now. The late Isaac Asimov wrote of a bloated Galactic Empire bureaucracy in the Foundation Trilogy (later series) and I'm seeing alarming parallels with Washington now. The problem is that there's no one able to fix it.

The Government needs 'down time' to reboot.

Phishing and Scamming - back at 'em

2009-05-27T15:03:00.004-04:00

I'm a member of a software user group -- www.chaosfanatics.com -- and "JustDave", one of my good friends there, struck back at a scammer/phisher. It's worthy of posting:

Earlier this week I got an email from a Ms. Philips, supposedly with an international courier company, notifying me that my certified ATM card in the amount of $450,000 had arrived and that all I had to do was to send her my banking info so they could take their $125 fee and deliver the card. Right.

I replied, thanking her for the notification and informing her that I had, in fact, already received the card. I told her that planned to buy lunch for the entire office and then take the rest of the day off to go pay off my mortgage and buy a new car. I also told her that if she would send me a link to her web site I'd make an online payment for the delivery using the card. I received a very confused, almost incoherent email back from her. I didn't reply. She's emailed me twelve times since then. Heh.

Great job, Dave!! Gotta remember that one! Add another beer to the tab!

On the more serious side, these folks have no shame and REALLY take advantage of the elderly who no longer know when they're being scammed. I'm guardian for a 90+ retired military clergy who is convinced he's won the Irish/German/Canadian/TimbuckToo lotteries and all he needs to do is send $100--$500-$2500, and so forth. Other than that he's perfectly sane and still preaches once or twice a month as a 'substitute'. He's blown through his live savings and incurred nearly $100,000.00 in credit card debt, spending over $200,000.00 with these bastards.

If you've got elderly relatives, try to look over their finances to make sure everything is in order. If you see a problem, get to an Elder-Law lawyer at once. You can find one at NAELA.ORG.
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Barcodes

2009-05-11T16:40:00.005-04:00

Today I was happily working and some stuff for a project came in. It had bar codes all over it and I thought to myself "Our lives have become run by bar codes -- we ought to have bar code name tags."

And it hit me. An idea. ("Danger, Wil Robinson, Danger!")

I had a lunch today that would have Name Tags. So I printed my name tag - as a Bar Code. Yes, I wore it. My good friend Peter Vieth with the Virginia Lawyer's Weekly took a picture, reproduced here, and posted on the Virginia Lawyer's Weekly blog.

That it was a local Bar Association lunch was just an ironic twist. Bar codes for the Bar Lunch?

Mint Juleps

2009-05-02T11:30:00.003-04:00

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May 1. It's that time of year. The chili cookoff in Roanoke; a famous horse race in Kentucky. Planning and planting things, watching them grow. Every year at this time there's enough fresh mint for my favorite adult beverage: the Mint Julep. There are hundreds of ways of making them.

I make Mint Juleps the way I learned from my father, "The Colonel", whom my brother and I call "Pappy". Pappy retired as an Army Colonel, a rank he earned during WWII after his participation in the Ardennes Forest Offensive (also known as the Battle of the Bulge). Across Virginia he was always referred to as "The Colonel" and with that name on the other side of the state people knew who you were talking about. Growing up as the kid of a well known dad had its advantages and disadvantages. I learned early on that I'd best behave myself wherever I happened to be, 'cause word always made it back to him. Now I realize that was an advantage.

Pappy's voice still booms in my memory: "Ross: the ingredients are the key. You've got to use bonded bourbon ('bottled in bond', a government thing that means the stuff is at least 100 proof) and it damn well better be from Kentucky. Second, use very cold ice -- ice that's been in the deep freeze for over a week so it knows it's job is to stay cold, and it wants to! Third: pick your mint only when you're ready to make the Juleps -- over 10 minutes between picking and using and it begins to wilt and loses flavor."

Every time I made Mint Juleps, I also hear, "just as important is the ceremony of making the Julep itself -- people enjoy them even more when they watch you make them and you make it appear special." Pappy was right about that among many many things. I remember a college summer school geology course I took in Colorado. I had a high 'C' or low 'B' at the end of the course when we had our end of school party. The professor was there, I made Mint Juleps (with the ceremony) for him, and the 'C' moved to an 'A'.

The Colonel's Famous Mint Julep Recipe; Per Julep:

3, 4" sprigs of mint, divided
1 1/2 cups deep-freeze-cold ice
3 teaspoons table sugar, divided
100 Proof Kentucky Bourbon
Tall 8 oz. glass or, even better, aluminum tumblers.

Crush ice in a clean dishtowel or canvas bag (I used to represent a bank and use an old money-bag) and pound it with a mallet or hammer until the ice is nearly pulverized.
With a spoon -- your hand will warm the ice too much -- fill each tumbler about 1/3 the way up.
Add a heaping teaspoon of granulated sugar and about 5 mint leaves (you can leave them on the stem).
Repeat: another 1/3 tumbler of ice, then sugar and mint, and then ice to the top.
Once the tumblers are full, take an ordinary iced tea spoon and hold it upside down by the bowl of the spoon and jam it up and down in the tumbler. This crushes the ice against the mint and sugar, gets all the flavor and oils in the mint flowing, and everything mixing together. Do this for 30 seconds or more.
Add more ice to pack the tumbler firmly to the top. Finally, take the bottled-in-bond Kentucky Bourbon and pour it in. No, you don't need to measure the bourbon. As a practical matter, if you've done it right, the tumbler will take only (he says!) about 2 or at most 2 1/2 ounces of bourbon, which isn't that much for a serious bourbon drinker.

After pouring the bourbon, the tumblers should instantly frost over with a layer of ice on the outside. That's the first sign you've made the Mint Julep properly and means that it's well below freezing. Add a sprig of mint on the top of each drink as a garnish, put in sippin' spoons (ice tea spoons with a hollow tube for a handle; if you don't have them a straw will have to do), and serve with a napkin underneath. Hold it by the napkin so the frosted side isn't ruined by the heat of your fingers.

Aaaahhh!. Definitely worth being included in the top ten of life's pleasures. Be careful, though. Mint Juleps have teeth!

Thank you, Pappy. Here's to you and all you taught me.
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Elder Abuse

2009-04-03T18:15:00.002-04:00

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One of my absolute hot buttons is when someone steals from an elderly person who cannot protect himself. Friday April 3, 2009, I appeared in such a case.

Five years ago, “Momma” (then in her late 80’s) had progressed to the point that she needed to live where she could be cared for – at first an “Adult Living Facility” (Assisted Living) and now skilled nursing care in a nursing home.

Five years ago ‘Momma’ was comfortable, financially. She had an annual income of $24,000; she needed $50,000 to take care of her needs and care. Her assets were almost $500,000.00 which, at $2300 per month, would have lasted over 25 years – much longer than her lifespan.

Today in court all we could determine was left was $22,000.00. Less than 5% of what was there five years ago.

I had obtained some bank and other financial records for the 15 months (back to January 2008) and reviewing that period I found that “someone” had used Momma’s debit card to the tune of $83,450.00 (that’s over $5500 per month) for such “necessities” as:

Cell Phones
Models – as in model cars, planes, etc.
Motels and restaurants within a 200 mile radius of here, including Dollywood
Booze at the ABC store
A membership in DateMatch.net (she's now in her 90's!)

My role was to report to the court and protect “Momma’s” interests. I was fully prepared to do so and be “Rossiferous” in my approach to the daughter who had Momma’s power of attorney, and even more so to the daughter’s husband who also had access to Momma’s money. (By the way, husband claims there may be some identity theft – why, over 15 months, did they not notice that money was disappearing?)

I didn’t get a chance. Hizzoner the judge beat me to it. His questions were to the point and emphasized the pillage of Momma’s money. All I did was pitch the ball; he hit the homeruns.

Elder financial abuse happens every day to too many seniors. I’ve seen it too much. I’m happy to report the judge I was before today gets it, as do all the other judges I appear before on a regular basis.

President John F. Kennedy said “A society's quality and durability can best be measured by the respect and care given to its elder citizens."

If you see abuse, call for help. Adult Protective Services is interested. There’s also Elder Abuse Hotlines.
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Stuff - redux

2009-03-09T09:02:00.004-04:00

My office desk had reached critical mass. You know, that state where the piles are so bad even you can't find stuff. So I decided to 'tidy' it. Susan came to help.

What I had envisioned as an hour or so chore turned into a major 4+ hour project. 8 'billable' hours later (two lawyers!) my desk and workspace are much different and better.

I don't have a before picture -- imagine a pile of paper several inches tall; here's 'after'.

The big question is how long will it last? . . .

Characters: Dr. C meets Councilman T

2009-03-08T21:59:00.001-04:00

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I like to tell stories; I've even built up a bit of a repertoire of some of my favorite stories. In fact, when I was teaching at National College (f/k/a National Business College) the students did evaluations of the instructors. I taught a two-term course, and the written comment from one student was "Mr. Hart's stories were great the first term; when he repeated them the second term . . . ". Well, I guess my repertoire is somewhat limited.

Anyhow, from time to time I'm going to put some of those 'stories' here. Some will be "War Stories"; others will be "Characters Encountered". Some will be my personal experience; others will be stories I heard and feel are worth retelling as the original 'author' is no longer with us. I'll change names to protect the departed.

We begin with a "Character" story. It involves "Councilman T" and a constituent "Dr. C".

I learned a lot about observing life from Councilman T. He could tell stories about his time on Roanoke City Council and those stories gave great insight on how to approach a local governing body about an issue. I also learned a lot of what NOT to say -- Elected officials absolutely hate when someone says "I'm a taxpayer and . . . " Guess what, genius, the elected official is probably paying more in taxes this year than you'll pay in your lifetime. The argument doesn't work.

One time about 30 years ago the City of Roanoke had annexed a bunch of Roanoke County. (don't ask about Virginia's screwed up local government system in which a City -- first class, please -- can and does tell the county that surrounds it to go to hell if it feels like it) A lot of people who had lived in the county found themselves proud citizens of the city but were still paying the higher rates for water and sewer service to the County's Public Service Authority. They felt that if they had to be in the City, they ought to pay the same as other Roanoke City residents.

Dr. C was an extremely vociferous member of this group. At one time he taught Economics at Roanoke College (he even taught my mother economics at the University of Virginia Extension back in the 1960's). Verbosity was a trademark. And he could insult with the best and treated most people as students -- even members of City Council. I had my share of contact with him in those days.

At any rate, one Council meeting Dr. C appeared and spent a good 10 or 15 minutes haranguing Council about the injustice of the water/sewer rates. Near the end (although Dr. C hadn't planned it as the end) Councilman T. asked what he later said was a basic question. Dr. C responded "The problem with you Mr. T is that you just don't understand basic economic theory".

To which Councilman T responded "That may be true, Dr. C.; as I recall when I took Economics at Roanoke College you were my professor".

At this point Dr. C decided he had said enough.
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Procedure - epilog

2009-02-19T20:06:00.003-05:00

Today in the mail I got the report from the doctor. Of course, since all my mail is directed to the office that's where they went. And Donna, my assistant, opens my mail to make sure that I don't mis-file anything.

So I'm working and she walks in with my personal mail and a grin. The report is on top. With today's digital photography, the report includes pictures. Don't worry -- even I have enough decorum to NOT post them!

Of course, "Clean as a Whistle" probably isn't the best description to use . . .

2009-02-16T19:59:00.004-05:00

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Friday the 13th; Great day for a 'procedure'. It's been five years since my last colonoscopy, so my good doctor decided I needed another. Besides, she thought I should have a gastroenterologist check out the fact I've got gallstones (see 'ballast')

So I get scheduled for the 'procedure'. And get the instruction sheet. There's good news and bad news: Good news is that the prep isn't as bad as it was five years ago. At least not quite. Bad news is it's still unpleasant.

I was given a sheet of instructions. Don't eat/drink anything 'red' for a few days before. Stop any blood thinners (e.g. aspirin) a week before. Get some laxative pills for the day before; get some 'goop' to drink from the pharmacy. Only "clear liquids" (carefully described) the night before the procedure; after much review it appears that Beer qualifies as a clear liquid. The only thing they don't tell you is make sure you've got PLENTY of toilet paper before you start. And get the softest you can find. Trust me on this. It's important.

The details of the prep would be called "too much information". Even I have a modicum of discretion.

On Friday, Susan came to pick me up and take me to where I was getting 'scoped. I arrived and was almost immediately taken back and given one of those wonderful hospital gowns. I put it on and waited my turn. And durn near fell asleep. Finally the anesthetist came to talk to me, and I was taken back to the procedure room and signed the final paperwork. From this point I don't remember a heck of a lot. I'll let Susan describe what happened from here.

---

There were two of us sitting in the waiting area -- another woman knitting a loooong scarf. The layout of the place had the recovery rooms fairly near the waiting area, and the walls were as thin as a cheap hourly motel. Pretty soon we heard hiccups. They "belonged" to the knitter's significant other. When the snoring started, I knew it was Ross. It continued for a while, then the door opened and the nurse had me move the car to the back door. As I pulled up, another man hurried out the door, crossed the parking lot and got into his car; just then a nurse came out "Stop Him . . . " and chased the car. Finally the man stopped, rolled down his window, and the nurse said "Can he leave now?" "Yes" was the reply. Turns out the man was Ross' doctor.

So I went in and was led back to the cubicle with Ross; of course I could hear him from the back door. I asked how long the snoring was going on, and told about 45 minutes. She said that when Ross woke up he could get dressed and leave. After a while the nurse returned, made Ross sit up and yanked out the IV which helped him wake some more. What a sight -- Ross in that half-gown medical thing, feet dangling over the edge of the gurney still woozy and swaying back and forth. At least he stopped snoring. She then left me to get him dressed -- a challenge on a good day -- I had to keep him from falling over while getting an undershirt over his head and his arms thru it, then get his shorts and jeans on, and socks, all the while pushing him back upright with either a free hand or using my head butting him in the chest. A You-Tube video would have been a hit.

The nurse came back as he got dressed and she on one side and me on the other hauled him to the car, poured him into the passenger seat and we left for home. Within 3 minutes he was snoring again.

When we got home, shortly after 3:30, Ross kind of stumbled into the house, peeled off his clothes and literally fell into bed. Since he hadn't eaten for 24 hours, I asked if he wanted anything; he asked me to make a simple cheese sandwich with mayo on white squishy bread, wolfed it down and was out for the next four hours.

I thought the "fun part" was over, but then there was Sunday night.

---

I 'woke up' around 7 or so, with vague, if any, recollections of the stuff Susan wrote. Not that I was full of energy, but I felt OK.

Sunday: after dinner we were watching a movie and I began to feel a pain in the upper central part of my abdomen. Near the gall bladder. I sort of bore with it to see if it would pass, but finally around 11:30 I woke Susan to tell her I thought my gallstones might be acting up. She went from a beautiful, peaceful sleep to wide awake in a half second. She gently probed my belly for tenderness (ouch) and about 12:30 we decided I ought to go to the ER. We went, and it was somewhat uneventful, although it was interesting to learn that the CT scan they did of my gall bladder was "interpreted" in Australia. Anyhow, the doctor determined that it 'must have been a digestive problem', gave me some Prilosec (tm) and sent me home where we arrived just as the alarm clock went off.

Good thing I was planning to take the day off.

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Rolling over some more

2009-02-10T17:38:00.002-05:00

I just got a new toy. An iPhone. And my daughter Allyson got a new phone also. One of my oldest and dearest female friends commented about both on her blog. http://herbansprawl.com/HerbanSprawl/archives/218

ODFF is astute and her commentaries are worthwhile, well written and entertaining. Once in a while my perspective is different from hers; this is one.

It turns out ODFF and I have the same carrier – ATT. I’ve been with what is now ATT since the day Suncom turned on the switch in Roanoke. My contract was up for renewal. Given what I do, being able to schedule something whenever/wherever I am is essential. Setting a hearing while in court, setting a future meeting date, whatever, I don’t want to be double booking accidentally and then having to fix it.

My calendar software is a program called Time&Chaos (actually, I use T&C with an email module called !ntellect) available from www.Chaossoftware.com. It’s a fantastic program and recently got the ability to synchronize with various smart-phones including the iPhone. The iPhone can also get my emails so I can respond to clients and do other business while waiting for my hearing. So my purchase of the iPhone was a business thing, not really a toy thing. However, in spirit of full disclosure, I freely admit that its play capability is a plus.

Allyson has wanted texting for some time. Given her disability she has a very hard time staying in touch with friends, many of whom only text. (Grammatical purists groan at the thought of a noun – text – being used as a verb) So for her it was a natural upgrade. She got a phone with a QWERTY keyboard, not one of those ersatz press the 7 key 3 times to get an “R” thing.

I have to agree that texting is NOT conducive to ‘good spelling’. And that Allyson has a problem with spelling. Allyson has made wonderful progress working with ODFF in reading and it’s natural spin-offs, spelling and writing. “Texting” is controversial as a means of communication, with some scholars applauding it and others not. I’m leaning towards the good side – particularly as some of the text exchanges she’s had with me show writing skills she didn’t have a year ago (again, thanks to ODFF)

At any rate, Allyson’s 21 and can make up her own mind. She wanted to text, she helped pay for the change, so she can do it. Part of my job as a dad is to let her make her own decisions.

Contracts - Yellow Pages & others

2009-01-30T10:08:00.004-05:00

It’s phonebook season. That time of the year when we are flooded with phonebooks from everyone who can suck advertisers into paying for the yellow page ads. I think I’ve received three or four, so far; generally I throw them away or recycle them. These ‘wannabe’ phone books try to beat the ‘official’ (i.e., Verizon in this area) phone book to the punch by being a month or two earlier.

As a business, I’m a Yellow Pages advertiser. I’ll advertise, some, in the ‘official’ version and it’s time to do the renewal. No changes, except 2 or 3 years ago the “phone company” spun off its telephone directory (Yellow Page) business into another company. And they sent a two page contract, with 22 numbered paragraphs in 8 point type for me to sign blindly – NOT!.

I’m a lawyer. (duh!) I read contracts before I sign them. My (then) wife was in the delivery room in hard labor hatching one of my kids, and I’m reading the fine print in the admission agreement. I’m in kidney-stone-induced-pain at the hospital (Read “Ballast”) and I’m reading the freaking contract. And editing it. And don’t get me started on Nursing Home Admission contracts (if you're not careful you could sign your personal life away to admit Mom!)

So, no surprise, I read the 22 paragraphs. And tinkered with it, striking out or changing stuff like.

‘automatic renewal’ – if I want to renew for another year, I’ll let you know. Struck.
‘late charges’ – general principals. Struck.
Collection costs and attorneys fees: Nah.
Waiver of Jury Trial – Hell no.
Compulsory Arbitration – Hell Hell No!
Governing Law is Texas: HELLO!! I’m in Virginia. The phone book is distributed in Virginia. They’re DOING BUSINESS in Virginia. (The irony is that Virginia law probably favors the fools more than Texas law.)

I left in a bunch of stuff that protects them and makes any claim I could dream up worthless. They’re gonna get a paltry $2400.00 for my year of advertising (at $200.00 per month) so it’s not a big deal to me and certainly not to them. Of course the rep called about the ‘changes to the agreement’ and wants me to call her back.

Uh-huh.

You know you're getting old when . . .

2009-01-18T18:00:00.003-05:00

Susan and I decided to make Chili and Cornbread, sit by the fire and watch TV today. Great Sunday activity.

My chili recipe includes beer and frozen cut okra. We needed some ingredients and so off to the store we went.

At checkout, with the beer, the clerk was running them through and of course there was the extra beep when the beer went across the scanner. The running total sign asked "Customer over 40?". Usually at this point cashiers are supposed to ask for an ID. I'm at the point of being flattered to be thought of that young. I've been known to respond "Bless you, child" or sometimes "Bless you, GrandChild".

Not today. The cashier didn't even blink but punched 'yes'.

sigh.

Stuff

2009-01-11T17:35:00.003-05:00

The word "Tidy" has never been part of descriptors used of me. Never.

I can hear the guffaws now.

George Carlin called it "Stuff". I've got a lot of Stuff. And I don't put my stuff where it should be all the time.

I like to think I'm better than I used to be - about putting stuff away, that is. I think it's an age defense thing; it's getting harder to remember where I left stuff so in self defense for the future it gets closer to where it belongs.

Sunday I was looking for something in my workshop (talk about the opposite of tidy!) and I KNOW it's in there. Somewhere.

Growing up, I marveled at my father's collection of stuff in his workshop. Stuff he had no use for, but might need it someday. And my (then) wife's grandfather died and we were going through his workshop and a lot of the same type of stuff was there. You know, old parts from electric fixtures; old plumbing faucets and so forth, parts from things broken that "might be useful someday".

Now that I'm in the middle-age 'plus' group I'm afraid I've got both of them beat.

And have a hard time finding any of it.

I'd rather be his Friend

2009-01-09T12:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I attended the graveside service of a gentleman (I’ll call him “Jim”) for whom I’ve been guardian – and conservator – for several years. It was chilly and windy, and like a fool I left my overcoat at the office.

But the service was one of the nicest I’ve been to for years. The minister spoke and did his thing, then several of his friends spoke. I learned a lot about Jim I had never known. I wish I'd gotten to know him 'in the day'.

I do a lot of guardianship work – I act as a ‘guardian of last resort’ in many instances and currently am guardian for a number of elder people who have no one to watch out for them. Many of these people have Alzheimer’s type dementia; some have been in an accident and suffer brain injury; Jim drank and pickled his brain, and could no longer care for himself. Someone had to help and take action Jim would not like and to which he would object.

But Jim was very lucky and blessed – he had friends. Friends who visited him regularly in the nursing home. Friends who took him to lunch. Friends who brought him cigarettes. Friends who cared and remembered the good days. At the hearing when I was appointed Guardian for Jim, one of his his longtime friends and his attorney appeared and testified about why he thought Jim needed a guardian. The judge asked “Would you like to be the Guardian?”

“No sir, I’d rather be his friend”.

May we all be blessed with friends who care as much as Jim’s did.

Ballast

2009-01-06T17:30:00.002-05:00

A week before Thanksgiving I awoke around 5 AM to a pain. I thought it was indigestion or something.

But it got worse. Around 7 or so Allyson wanted to know where I was; I told her I felt bad – something hurt. Allyson called Shannon; Shannon later came over and ended up taking me to the Carilion ER.

After a bunch of poking and prodding, and a few x-ray pictures, we figured out it was a kidney stone.

It wasn’t my first kidney stone – I’d had one “two wives ago” as I told the ER Doc. Um, make that about 25 years ago. That first one was excruciating. Incredible. This one, on the other hand, was merely painful as hell. It went away – partly with simple Tylenol™

So the ‘imaging’ showed I’ve got kidney stones. Enough for a small parking lot. It also showed Gallstones. Ouch.

I went on home, made appointment with my urologist, primary doc, and started reading up on the durn things.

One Sunday evening about ten days later I told Allyson I felt another stone coming on and helped her get to bed early, just in case. It came; was painful but I toughed it out, and it dissipated about 2 so I could get some sleep. At 3 AM it’s brother decided to come out. Susan came over and took me to the ER this time and Shannon came to help Allyson. I ended up having Lithotripsy about 10 days after that to break up the stone hanging in my ureter (the tube between kidney and bladder). The remaining stones will have to be taken out a hard way (there are several methods) as they’re too big to ‘pass’.

At church Sunday I was talking to a friend (with whom I share initials) who had his gallbladder taken out a few weeks ago. We were discussing respective ailments, and were joined by other midlife-plus folks. After a few minutes I commented, to universal agreement, “Hey, we’re getting to be old farts. We aren’t discussing girls, sports, cars, children or grandchildren. We’re discussing ailments and the doctors we see. This is ridiculous!”

Let’s see now: Kidney Stones. Gallstones. Rocks in my head. I feel like Ballast.

Gee, being ‘stoned’ has taken on a different meaning than in my youth.

Public Service

2009-01-02T14:59:00.005-05:00

[Note: the following is a letter I sent to the Virginia Bar News and was published July, 2008]

Last year I received one of four “Pro Bono” awards given by the Virginia State Bar for volunteering time and expertise to those who could not afford a lawyer. It was a total surprise – at the time I didn’t even know the award existed. I appreciate the recognition and receiving the award.

When I learned of the award, I thought, “What’s the big deal? I was just doing my job”. My guess is my three colleagues who also won the award feel the same way. We’re just doing our job.

And that’s it. That’s the Key: “Doing my – OUR – job.”

I am a third generation lawyer – my grandfather, his brother (at one time a Roanoke Hustings—now Circuit—Court judge), my father, my uncle, and now my cousin and I, were and are all lawyers. Our family has always worked to help others with their legal problems even if they couldn’t afford the fee.

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, I remember my father talking about getting a Legal Aid service started in the Roanoke area. Trying for funding, trying to get other lawyers to take on cases “pro bono” and the frustration of not enough money or lawyers to meet the demand. Through this, my father, Col. James P. Hart, Jr., taught me that it’s the duty of all lawyers to take pro bono cases in areas where we have the knowledge and skills to help.

So when legal aid makes a referral, and it’s an area I can handle competently, I’m going to take it. Given my upbringing, my job – my duty – is to accept it. Most of the time the cases aren’t hard and I know I’ve helped someone, which is a good feeling. Occasionally one gets a little wild, but that’s life as a lawyer whether or not there’s a fee.

My plea is to all lawyers: call your local legal aid office and tell them you want to help. Talk to them about the areas you can handle or are willing to learn. Agree to take two cases a year; Agree to do “Hotline” telephone advice for an hour every other month. Many legal aid agencies have “how to do it” guides for the routine matters such as a no-fault divorce. Their staff attorneys will answer questions and help if you get an unfamiliar rough spot.

Poor people usually don’t have complicated problems – they just have problems that need a little bit of a lawyer’s time. Give that bit of time.

It’s our job.

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On naming our young-uns

2008-12-31T09:18:00.006-05:00

DJ and I were talking about my kids and (kinda-sorta) grand-children (children of my ex's daughter). I remembered when my grandson was born and that the parents decided to name him after his father (a practice about which I have reservations), but couldn't decide on "Jr." or "II" (the Second).

My response was "why not 'the next'?" and use "Next" as a nickname.

Think of the benefits:

It's unique. Who else would have that nickname?
It'd drive bureaucrats crazy on all those forms he and his parents will have to fill out.
When he's older and waiting in line (as in at the Division of Motor Vehicles) and they call out "Next!" he goes to the head of the line!

Naturally I got shot down, but not before I had already used that nickname. At church. A lot.

So, six weeks or so after Next was born, his momma brought him to church. She walks in the door, and SWOOSH! -- all the women of the church swarmed over her and the child. You could hear them across the parish hall "There's NEXT!".

Everyone thought it was funny. Except my (then) wife. And her daughter. Some people have trouble with jokes . . .

About my reservations on naming kids after yourself: It boils down to confusion. In today's society with credit reports, scores, documents and so forth ad infinitum, it's not IF there will be a mixup, but WHEN there'll be a mixup. And mixups cause damage both ways. If the father's credit bottoms out, the kid suffers. If the kid grows up and decides not to play by the credit rules, dad's credit suffers. I've represented people on both sides of the equation and it's never easy to fix.

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A blog, huh?

2008-12-30T11:05:00.005-05:00

"You need to write a blog"

Yeah, right. As if I have time.

I resisted for a long time and enjoyed reading the blog of one of my best friends. One day I found myself at a "Create your own blog" site. Here.

So away we go.

My fiance and love of my life came up with the perfect name. I was telling her about some corporate idiot I was talking to that didn't understand my client's problem or my authority (backed up with a court order) and that I had to 'educate' said idiot.

Her response was "Oh, were you being "Rossiferous"?

OK; I have a reputation (deserved and cultivated) for saying what's on my mind and not worrying too much about being politically correct. I like being to the point and injecting an off the wall humor into it. If I feel my client is not getting fair treatment then I'm vocal about it. If I feel that the customer-no-service telephone representative doesn't understand, I've been known to say "let me talk to your supervisor -- you're too stupid to talk to me". Great way to make friends, huh?

Anyhow, a word was created and I own that word.

So, with some trepidation, and an opportunity presenting itself, here we go. I have no idea how often I'll post, or what I'll post. When I do, I will try to keep it interesting.

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