Sunday, January 20, 2013

More Borg fun

Ya gotta be a StarTrek - The Next Generation fan to understand this one . . .

I'm a member of a group of lawyers who use a "Listserv" which is an email blast to others who choose to subscribe. I am - probably - overactive on the listserv.

I used the term "Borg" to refer to WellsFargo and Bank of America (who have an unfortunately large presence in Virginia).

It seems to have caught on. 

It started with my question:
I've got to go get info from one of the Borg and am anticipating the usual crap. 
and I continued with a suggestion of how I might annoy and try to get the attention of the Borg and invited comments. [I'm not including the suggestion here as it involves lawyer-client privilege]
One of the founders of our group said:
Since we’re using ST TNG vernacular, I say “make it so!"   to my suggestion. 

Another member chimed in with 
I don't know Ross, you might need to start with President and CEO of Borg Bank, N.A. and then require that the Bank provide you with appropriate organizational documents verifying which Borg officers in Virginia have authority to speak on the collective's behalf.  Until they provide you with that information, you can tell them that only the President and CEO can talk to you.
which I think is a good tactic . . .

Another member -- responding to the seriousness of the problem -- mentioned a fairly high up contact or two she has at WellsBorgo (did I just coin another phrase?  is that like "Borg of America"? ) and suggested a meeting with the state chapter to discuss communication problems with that collective. 

There were a number of comments very supportive of a meeting and one is in the process of being organized. We've even picked a spokesperson/moderator for the meeting; and one of the comments about picking an  emissary was: 

I think [Irving] would be a great representative for the Federation, if he's willing . 

Irving is willing.  With that news, our group's leader said:

Thanks Irving -- I guess that makes you the leader of the landing party into the BORG hive.  The rest of us will back you up with our phasers set to stun.   Unfortunately, if you remember the actual landing parties that entered a BORG hive ship, they were completely ignored by the Collective as irrelevant unless and until a member of the landing party started vaporizing the BORG drones.  I am afraid that we will be treated the same – ignored unless and until we start doing some real damage to the bank.

I still think, as I thought years ago, that the only way to get the attention of the BORG is to organize and publicize a formal boycott of the bank, where every member of [our group] advised every one of our respective clients to avoid using the BORG bank and we put out a press release to this effect and actually try to get some real publicity (such as TV and radio coverage around the state) of how bad the BORG is.  Only then, I think, is there any chance that they will actually care about what we say.

My response to the group's leader:
You're a real Trekkie!  Perfect analogy and I agree totally.     
(doing Picard's finger thing . . . ) "Engage!"
Of course, for years I've been discouraging my clients and friends and readers from opening or keeping an account at WellsBorgo [and Borg of America]. And withdrawn every penny I could.