Suntrust Mortgage 'press 1 if you prefer English'

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Recently I was appointed guardian and conservator for a young man (let's call him 'Sylvester') who got in the way of his girlfriend's car (or so the story goes). He owns some rental property, one of which has a loan with Suntrust Mortgage.  So naturally I try to get some information.

I call Suntrust; they can't talk to me without authorization (I'm used to that) so I faxed them a copy of the order - they have a special 'authorization department' for this!  At the time I didn't have a loan number -- would you believe Suntrust can't look up something with a social security number? Then, the rep said "I can take your payment over the phone". I asked her to think (which is not easy with these mortgage companies) about what she just said; how can I pay if she won't give me any info from which to make a payment? 

Two days later I hadn't heard anything, but Sylvester's momma called that Suntrust is harassing her about the account.  I call Suntrust back; they didn't have anything in the system and refused to let me talk with a supervisor. I faxed the information again.  Now I'm told it takes 24 hours to 'get it into the system'.  There are 24 hours in a day; last time I did the math, two days from my first fax is 48 hours -- so it should be in the system.

And about 'pressing 1'.   I refuse to press 1 to speak my native language and the language of this country since Capt. James Smith and Pocahontas were doin' the nasty in Virginia's swamps 400 years ago. So, even though I didn't press '2',  the system defaulted to Spanish! I had a Spanish speaking operator come on the line - they spoke English quickly.   The joke:  the 'on hold' music on the Spanish side had Suntrust advertisements -- IN ENGLISH.  Go figure.
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