How not to introduce someone

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About 35 years ago I attended my first Roanoke Bar Association Law Day Luncheon. The speaker for this occasion was William B. Spong, Jr. , then Dean of the Marshall-Wythe School of Law at the College of William and Mary, Virginia. Dean Spong had served as US Senator from Virginia for one term and was truly an honest politician. Everyone at the luncheon knew who he was.

Being so well known poses a problem for the person who gets the honor to introduce them without boring the audience.  That honor fell to B. Purnell Eggleston, a senior and distinguished member of the bar. He handled it in what would now be considered politically incorrect.

"Members of the Bar and distinguished guests, our speaker really doesn't need an introduction.  In fact, he recently spoke at a function in Richmond and the lady making the introduction -- a lady from the high society of Richmond matrons -- was gushing at the opportunity.  She said in her genteel Southern Matronly drawl, 'Ladies and gentlemen, our speaker has served in the Virginia House of Delegates, the Virginia Senate, the United States Senate -- why, he's done so many things his Who's Who is Nine inches long!' "
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Drive Collection Agents Nuts

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As a lot of my followers know, I serve as guardian and conservator for several people.  A number of these folks ran up credit card debt before getting disabled and they're now in a nursing home and receive Medicaid long term care.

I'll admit that I'm not in any hurry to pay their credit cards -- they're pretty close to the bottom of the priority list, if not below the line.

Credit card companies don't keep non-paying accounts -- they sell them to third parties who then try to collect them, and then those guys sell them to fourth, fifth, and so on down the line. After 2 or 3 years the account ends up with a 'bottom feeder' who tries everything to collect.  Here's the catch:  when the account is sold, all that the purchaser gets is a name, social security number, address and contact info and -- maybe -- some of the account history.  They don't get the copies of the original account documents or a detailed charge/payment history of the account. 

So the collectors call me wanting to get paid on Irving Puffuffnick's old credit card. Actually they try to talk to Irving himself (and I've pretended to be Irving on more than one occasion -- in a sense I AM Irving by virtue of a court order) and want documentation from me to prove I have authority to act on behalf of Irving.

Of course, before I give them that authority (which is public record if they want to go to the courthouse to look for it - admittedly a long commute for someone in California) I demand proof that they are authorized to discuss the account on behalf of the creditor.

Mexican Standoff? (Wikipedia)
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Decoding Wells Fargo as an acronym

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The office staff has been complaining about the long lines at Wells Fargo, especially after the formal changeover from Wachovia (which took over from First Union (and whose initials were really appropriate), which took over from Dominion Bank, which grew out of First National Exchange Bank . . . )

So Donna, my right arm and assistant, took a deposit over there and the line for a teller was 'nearly out the door'.  While waiting she took the name "Wells Fargo" and broke it down:

"Where  Every  Line's Longer Seemingly Forever And Rage Grows Often"

Not bad, huh?

Think they'll care?  nah.  They're too big for their britches.

Guess it's time for me to close all the estate accounts I have there;  doubt they'll miss a measly $500K in money.
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