It's not just me

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Just saw an article on  MSN.  The annual 'hall of shame' list.

Companies we love to hate

I see a lot of my 'friends' there. Keep it in mind as you choose where your dollars/euros/sheckels go.
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Suntrust Mortgage 'press 1 if you prefer English'

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Recently I was appointed guardian and conservator for a young man (let's call him 'Sylvester') who got in the way of his girlfriend's car (or so the story goes). He owns some rental property, one of which has a loan with Suntrust Mortgage.  So naturally I try to get some information.

I call Suntrust; they can't talk to me without authorization (I'm used to that) so I faxed them a copy of the order - they have a special 'authorization department' for this!  At the time I didn't have a loan number -- would you believe Suntrust can't look up something with a social security number? Then, the rep said "I can take your payment over the phone". I asked her to think (which is not easy with these mortgage companies) about what she just said; how can I pay if she won't give me any info from which to make a payment? 

Two days later I hadn't heard anything, but Sylvester's momma called that Suntrust is harassing her about the account.  I call Suntrust back; they didn't have anything in the system and refused to let me talk with a supervisor. I faxed the information again.  Now I'm told it takes 24 hours to 'get it into the system'.  There are 24 hours in a day; last time I did the math, two days from my first fax is 48 hours -- so it should be in the system.

And about 'pressing 1'.   I refuse to press 1 to speak my native language and the language of this country since Capt. James Smith and Pocahontas were doin' the nasty in Virginia's swamps 400 years ago. So, even though I didn't press '2',  the system defaulted to Spanish! I had a Spanish speaking operator come on the line - they spoke English quickly.   The joke:  the 'on hold' music on the Spanish side had Suntrust advertisements -- IN ENGLISH.  Go figure.
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Whadda Dive!

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Last week my cousin Anne dropped in my office with her daughter Emily. During our conversation she mentioned that her sister (and my cousin) Emily's son Rob Crenshaw (um, that makes him my first cousin once removed) was to have his restaurant featured on Diners, Drive-inns and Dives with host Guy Fieri.  Rob owns Cabo Fish Taco in Charlotte NC and another in Blacksburg VA. The show was on last night (5/17); Susan and I recorded it. And like a lot of Guy's '3D' featured establishments, it looked really good.

Every night Susan and I play the "what do you want for dinner" game.  What's in Bon Appetit, Cooking Light, Fine Cooking, or on Food Network or any of a dozen other sites.  We love to experiment with something new.  So tonight, on the way home, instead of cooking we decided to head up to Blacksburg to try out Cousin Rob's place.

We'll be back.  Soon.  We liked it that much.

When we walked in our server, "Marielle" greeted us with a big smile; when she learned it was our first visit she went out of her way to make us feel welcome and told us about the menu. She knew the product -- and the recipe featured on Food Network -- and made good suggestions. Marielle is one of the best servers we've ever had. While we waited for our dinner we got complementary fried tortilla chips with a spicy bean dip.

Susan had the Shrimp Tacos -- Cabo tacos with beer battered shrimp, with soy ginger sauce, sesame seeds and scallion.  I had the signature Fish Taco - Two flour tortillas stuffed with beer battered cod, cabbage, tomato, avocado, mixed cheeses, & finished with a cilantro white sauce (and which Guy had on TV).  Marielle suggested Susan have hers with Baja Rice (rice with mango/pineapple) and I had the jalapeno cheddar mashers (smashed redskin potatoes with jalapeno - spicy but not overwhelming). Total tab (with 3 beers - 2 for me) was about $25.00 after tax before tip.

The tacos were 'soft' which I prefer (I hate 'hard shell' tacos that explode all over the place) and tasty.  The fish taco could have used a little more flavor and avocado, but that's nitpicking.  You can see other menu items at the website - click on the Cabo name above.

The atmosphere is 'rustic' (for lack of a better word, but it's not a log cabin) - a lotta wood and sturdy furnishings (being across Main Street from Virginia Tech is a good reason for 'sturdy').  There's a fully stocked bar (again, a good thing for that location) and an outdoor eating deck for good weather.   My only gripe about the physical space is it is NOT handicap friendly.  There's an unused, difficult to navigate handicap ramp from the very small parking lot onto the deck, leading into the main restaurant, but Allyson would have a very hard time getting up and in it.  Live with someone in a wheelchair and no matter where you go, you look for accessibility.

Y'all really need to trek to Blacksburg to try this place.   I'm going to tell my friend Wade -- one of the Roanoke Times restaurant reviewers -- to give it a try.  The paper's already given Cabo a good review (linked from their website) but I think Wade will like it also. And I'm now a Facebook fan.

And someday I hope to meet my cousin Rob and his wife Maeghan. I think he's the first Restaurant person in the family.  We've got too many Lawyers, some accountants and even had a Doctor (Anne & Emily's dad).  Nice to have someone in the family with good taste.
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Marketing Rule 101: Know your prospective customer

My office just received an offer to sell life insurance -- addressed to my dad, who would have been 103 this year. All they needed for a quote was date of birth.

They made the mistake of enclosing a Postage Paid Business Reply Envelope. . . .

A Block Too Far - Part 2

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Last December I wrote about the ‘paratransit’ service roadblock in the Valley. http://rossiferous.blogspot.com/2009/12/block-too-far.html

Yesterday I got an email from a public service organization I work with and respect that the Division of Motor Vehicles office in the Roanoke Valley is no longer accessible by public transportation. Until about a year ago, it was located in an old crumbling shopping center on the bus lines in Roanoke City; it moved to a shiny new building at Valley Pointe business park in Roanoke County.

Federal law says that paratransit services must transport disabled people to/from homes and locations within 3/4 mile of existing bus lines. Valley Pointe isn’t within that 3/4 mile distance, so RADAR/CORTRAN riders are out of luck if they need to go there.

Why is it important?  Even if disabled don’t drive, they need a ‘current’ picture ID.  In Virginia, the picture ID is issued by DMV. And the irony is that RADAR/CORTRAN require a ‘current’ ID for transportation. Gee, can't get to DMV to update my ID because RADAR/CORTRAN won't take me there; now can't ride it at all because my ID isn't current. Don'tcha just love the bureaucratic mentality?

The fix:  Roanoke County Board of Supervisors and Roanoke City Council simply need to amend their transportation agreements with Valley Metro (which has the contract to operate RADAR/CORTRAN) to include trips for their citizens to DMV; maybe they can talk DMV into subsidizing the trips by another dollar or two. And since Roanoke City Council happens to be the (hands-off?) Board of Directors for Valley Metro, maybe that would have some influence.

While they’re at it, they can fix that boundary silliness I commented on last December.
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How to spoil a telephone soliciter's day

Some days I have too much time on my hands.  Below is a letter just faxed to the named culprit and which tells the story.   The next time they call I might get rude!
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Liberty United Mortgage, L.L.C.
2030 Liberty Road; Suite 10            Facsimile ONLY to
Eldersburg, MD  21784                (410) 552-0570


    RE:     VIOLATION: Telephone Consumer Protection Act (47 USC 227)


On July 6, 2003, my home telephone number (540-XXX-YYYY) was registered with the Do Not Call Registry maintained by the Federal Trade Commission

On April 22, 2010 at approximately 7:08 PM, I received a telephone call at my residence from an automated calling service.  The purpose of the call was to solicit a refinance of my home mortgage loan.

I was connected with an individual named “John” who, through his accent, confirmed that the call was computer generated. I asked “John” to call me back at my office the next day.  Upon the follow-up call today I was connected with a “Brad Kirk” who identified the company as Liberty United Mortgage, LLC with offices in several areas of the mid-Atlantic, one which used to be in Richmond VA.

The April 22 call is a violation of the TCPA and can carry up to a $1500 penalty.

I hereby demand payment of $500.00 in satisfaction of all claims I have for your violation, through your agent, of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. If this amount is not received in my office before 4 PM May 5, 2010, I will take appropriate action.
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Founding Father

It will be of little avail to the people, that the laws are made by men of their own choice, if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such incessant changes that no man, who knows what the law is to-day, can guess what it will be to-morrow. JAMES MADISON , The Federalist, ed. Benjamin F. Wright, no. 62, pp. 41112

That rumbling you hear near Montpelier, Virginia, is our Fourth President rolling in his grave.

Countin' noses

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It's time for the census. Something our forefathers decided would be a good idea when they wrote the Constitution lo these many years ago. Counting noses has been around for a long time before that document was written. Of course, counting noses was primarily for taxation purposes -- e.g. Joseph & Mary wandering into Bethlehem, or the Domesday Book that Willie da Conqueror had done in England.

It's a lot simpler this year than 10 years ago. Of course, they still want to know my race. And here I feel discriminated against. Our Hispanic folks have a lot of choices about WHO they are. So do the Asian group. The Native Americans (i.e. them who watched the Pilgrims get off the boat) get to enter their tribe. But 'white' and 'black' folk just get 'black' or 'white'. Africa is full of tribes -- Zulu, Tonga, and a whole lot more. And us white folk aren't homogenous, either. Scandinavian; Anglo-Saxon; Franks; Teutonic. And no category at all for those of middle east ancestry.

The good news is there's a checkbox for "Some Other Race" and a blank at the end of Question 9. I'm entering "Celtic" for my Scottish ancestry. Remember, in an earlier blog I claimed descent from Rob Roy McGregor, who pissed off the English Crown so much that simply to use the name McGregor was punishable by death for over 70 years.

Now THAT's being 'rossiferous'
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To Kill a Mockingbird

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In her blog, one of my oldest friends commented about the current Roanoke City Council race. One of the candidates is a lawyer who recently defended an infamous white supremacist and did a really good job. My friend thinks this defense disqualifies the lawyer from serving on Council; I disagree.

I mentioned To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee, 1960; film starring Gregory Peck, Universal Pictures, 1962) to her and she said that's different - that Mockingbird was about racial inequality. We both grew up - came of age - in the 60's. She in the Chicago area, me in Roanoke. We both remember the struggles as our country worked to get away from the shame of racial inequality, and those struggles were front page news then. But To Kill a Mockingbird was much more than about race. It's about guaranteeing a fair trial for an unpopular defendant.

The time is 1936 in Maycomb, Alabama. Atticus Finch is appointed by the court to defend a black man accused of raping a young white woman. Although many of Maycomb's citizens disapprove, Atticus agrees to defend him to the best of his ability. The community backlash and personal attacks on Atticus and his family, and how they stand up to it, form the story.

The United States Constitution provides a number of guarantees. Relevant are the Freedom of Speech and the Right to a Fair Trial. The supremacist is, in my polite opinion, an asshole, but this isn't about him it's about his right to share his disgusting views. It's about the right everyone, including supremacist assholes, rag-head terrorist assholes, assassins and other scum-of-the earth have to a fair trial.

I've known and admired the attorney candidate professionally for years and am very proud to call him a personal friend. There is no way in hell he agrees with the views of his client -- in fact, the attorney's heritage has been a target of his clients venom. But the government must prove its case, beyond a reasonable doubt, according to the rules of law. And the attorney did his job.

A number of years ago I was representing an individual who (against my advice) began doing illegal "Straw-man" loans. The government caught on, there were grand juries and a media frenzy. I got interviewed, and one of the questions was how his misdeeds impacted me. My response: "One of the risks of practicing law is when your client does a belly-flop into a pool of crap, you're gonna get splashed." Many of my colleagues -- who had been "splashed" -- called to say they wish they'd thought of that line.

In the spirit of Atticus Finch, we've got a job to do and sometimes it's unpopular. But that's why most of us chose this profession.
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Mayor Bowers is Right

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Our nation, our commonwealth and our local governments are facing a financial crisis unlike any seen since the Great Depression that most of us only know from history books or (as in my case) stories told by our parents. Budgets aren’t only being cut, they’re being mangled. And in Virginia, it’s those who can least afford any cuts that are being crucified the most – which makes sense if you understand that Virginia Hates the Poor.

But the cuts go further than hurting the poor. Our schools are being forced to close, fire teachers and increase class sizes to ridiculous levels and cancel programs, many of which are geared to increasing the abilities of the disadvantaged (i.e. poor) so they can compete in the job world.

The most interesting and best comment I’ve seen to date comes from Roanoke Mayor David Bowers.  I’ve known David for over 40 years – since Patrick Henry High School days and regularly give him grief. Here he’s dead on and deserves credit for what he said.

The Roanoke Times http://www.roanoke.com/news/breaking/wb/239512 today reported the following:

Bowers said that when every locality faces budget problems, it becomes a state issue and one that should be addressed by the governor and General Assembly. He said a failure to do so would be on par with Massive Resistance – the push by state officials in the 1950s to resist federally enforced integration of public schools.

“It was the wrong decision then and we paid for it over the years,” Bowers said. “I submit to you, ladies and gentlemen, this is a massive resistance in our time. This is a reckless adherence to ideology by our governor and by our General Assembly in the face of reality and dire consequences and the crisis for Virginia schools.”

Ideology that continues the “Car Tax Relief” abomination instead of providing money to go to the schools.

Right on, David. 
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Judge Hart's Rule: Don't Get Mad, Get Even

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In my last entry I mentioned my Grand Uncle, the Hon. John M. Hart, also known as "Judge Hart" was once Commissioner of the Revenue for Roanoke City. (Oh, as of this post I haven't heard back on my letter). How he got elected is a story in itself.

Uncle John was Judge of the Hustings Court for Roanoke City (it's since become part of the Circuit Court), 'way back in the 1920's and early '30's. Check your history: this was during Prohibition, the "No alcoholic drinking" thing. So, in theory, anyone caught drinking or with liquor would be arrested.

So Uncle John had a lot of working stiffs ("Joe Lunchpail") show up in his court charged with having a pint or a fifth, or with drinking.  However, at the same time, the Elite of Roanoke (Doctors, Bankers, Businessmen and - of course - Lawyers) were happily drinking Franklin County's finest 'shine and if caught by police would simply be escorted home.

Not fair, huh? That's what Uncle John thought. So Joe ended up with the minimum fine and no jail. This caused the WCTU (Women's Christian Temperance Union) to dislike hizzoner.  They called him "Soft on Drinking".  The irony here is that Judge Hart was a Tee-Totaler -- never touched a drop of alcohol in his life. (We call him "The Sober Hart" in the family)

The then Commissioner of the Revenue's wife was big in the WCTU in Roanoke. So the then Commissioner of the Revenue was the leader in removing Uncle John from the bench by not reappointing him for another term. In Virginia the General Assembly selects judges; Uncle John lost by a very very few votes to Lindsay Almond.

A year or so later the Commissioner of the Revenue was up for re-election.  Yep, Uncle John ran against him and won.

Now THAT's 'Rossiferous'. Any wonder where I got it?
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Taking on The Commissioner of the Revenue for Roanoke City . . .

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I got a nastygram from The Commissioner of the Revenue for the City of Roanoke. Among the duties of that office is keeping track of who owns real estate so they can be taxed. I made a mistake in a deed -- the wrong tax map number was inserted  by accident; the rest of the deed was detailed and correct.  The Commissioner's office is refusing to transfer the tax records because of that error. They're wrong. Following is an adaptation of my letter (I removed identifing info and added stuff to clarify it for y'all)
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First, I’ll admit to a scrivener’s error in the tax number in the top margin, first page, of a deed prepared by this office. I should have caught it; the closing agent should have caught it. I congratulate and respect The Commissioner of the Revenue's (COR) staff for their sharp eye.

However, there is no authority in the Code of Virginia preventing the COR from correctly assessing the property in the name of the purchaser when there is clearly a minor scrivener’s error. That offices’ failure to correctly assess “the person to whom the [real estate] is chargeable with taxes” as to any property under Virginia Code 58.1-3281, when a reading of the four corners of the deed would disclose such, could be misfeasance.

When I called the Commissioner's office, his staff referred to Virginia Code 17.1-252. That section (1) makes Circuit Court Clerks require a Parcel ID Number in those jurisdictions that use them (Roanoke City is one) and (2) allows the Clerk to use that number in an indexing system (The Roanoke City Circuit Court Clerk’s office does not have such a system). Nothing in that statute applies to the duties of The Commissioner of the Revenue, although compliance does, usually, make their job easier.

In this case, the body of the deed clearly identifies the property and its title history. It even identifies it as a re-subdivision of two lots with tax numbers (actually, conveyance of a strip of land from one lot to another). In the thousands of real estate titles I have personally searched, and the thousands of other title reports I have personally reviewed, a single error did not void the title when the bulk of the information distinctly identified the property.

In addition, this policy implies that an instrument must be recorded to effect a transfer of property to “the person to whom the same is chargeable with taxes”. That, in my family’s knowledge, has never been the case. My uncle, Judge John M. Hart, was The Commissioner of the Revenue at one time (How he got there is a Rossiferous story in itself!). I know of instances where a deed was delivered, accepted, but the buyer neglected or refused to record it; the property was nevertheless taxed to the buyer because the then Commissioner of the Revenue properly determined the buyer to be “chargeable with taxes”.  I also recall that, as Escheator, my father and I would provide a list of purchasers to the City so that they could be assessed the taxes coming due on the properties they bought.



Hopefully this will get cleared up so that the purchaser doesn't suffer because of the COR's office. I've talked to other attorneys who have had similar experiences; it'll be interesting to see what happens.
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More Big Bank stupidity

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Big Banks just don’t have sense.  Here’s a plug for the small, community based bank.

From a list-serv where I’m a member, (Virginia chapter, National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys) I picked up two stories illustrating the abject stupidity of big banks.

The first comes from my friend Ken Labowitz, a lawyer in Alexandria, VA.

• Perhaps my attitude here is influenced by this afternoon's confrontation with SunTrust Bank.  I am co-guardian and co-conservator in a case with my colleague Anne ****.  The appointment is specifically written to say about six times that "either may act as Conservator".  With regard to drilling a safety deposit box, SunTrust is insisting that both of us be present.  No negotiation, no discussion possible, just both of us have to be present because SunTrust says so.

After Ken posted his story, another colleague responded:

• I think there must be special secret laws about safety deposit boxes. Wachovia insisted that I could not access a box to which I had a key, I am the executor under the will, and I gave them the death certificate of the owner and a copy of my appointment.  They required that the agent under the decedent's POA come into the bank and authorize me to have access to the box!

(apparently Wachovia is too stupid to know that a power of attorney dies with the person who issued it.)

And finally, one of my own experiences and how I handled it.

• I was appointed guardian/conservator for a lady with a house subject to a mortgage held by BB&T. The judge inserted a bunch of stuff in the order appointing me (if he'd been around in time of Moses he'd have taken a hammer & chisel to the 10 Commandments!).

• BB&T did not have a deposit account for the person, instead that person  owed BB&T money. I inquired about the balance and payment status and presented my order and qualification papers so I could PAY BB&T.  The order was sent 'downtown' somewhere and the response came back "we need proof that the judge made all those changes before we give access". My response was quick, to the point, and effective:  "Other than you, who should I subpoena to Court so the Judge can verify this?"

• I got the information.  Later I told hizzoner the story and he laughed.

In all these cases the banks were dealing with experienced lawyers with appropriate documentation and identification. But the banks substituted their stupidity for three separate court orders conferring legal authority on my colleagues (and me). Other than my ‘subpoena’ threat, I’ve had to threaten to write the various regulatory bodies with a formal complaint – and I made sure the flunky I was dealing with knew their name would be included – or legal action, or all of the above.  I’ve suggested that they go ahead and prepare a memorandum of events as their superiors and the home office legal department will want to know why they have to respond to my complaints.  So far they’ve blinked, but one of these days, probably soon,  .  .  . 

Local, Community based banks, are a whole lot easier to deal with.  Their front line people can think and (unlike those in big banks) are usually authorized to do so.  If there is something I think unreasonable, I easily get to someone up the chain; sometimes it’s not the bank’s fault, it’s the regulators stupidity that makes them do it. (Yes, another blog at another time) In the Roanoke area, from personal experience, I can recommend Stellar One and Valley Bank – good service and great people.


PS: full disclosure – I own stock in BB&T and Suntrust. Inherited it.

Financial Freedom - good news

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When I fuss about something I've got a duty to acknowledge something done right.

I just got off the phone with a young lady at Financial Freedom -- Cindy -- who obviously knew her job and how things worked.  She explained the process and the HUD (Gov-mint) rules they have to follow very well.  She answered all my questions and was quite pleasant to talk to. She even gave me her direct number in case I have future questions.

Results = 1
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Financial Freedom - no intelligence (Part 2)

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The good news is I finally got the information I was asking for from FF.

The bad news is it included $3500.00 for "foreclosure expenses".  I immediately (within 30 minutes of receipt) faxed to the same person who sent the fax a series of questions about the supposed foreclosure. In my query I acknowledged receipt of the payoff fax.

This morning I get a fax from a Tia -- , claiming to be a "Loan Servicing Administrator" at Financial Freedom -- it's a form that totally ignores the history of my contact in this case and states she must have a "Signature authorization to release . . . ".  She got a worthwhile response:

First, you obviously did not read my inquiry or don't have the education to understand what I wrote. I ALREADY RECEIVED a payoff; my inquiry was to a component of that payoff.

Second, I am the guardian and conservator for (individual) I've sent the papers to Financial Freedom at least twice and am now receiving monthly statements. If you know how, I suggest you look. Thus, I've GOT the authority to ask.

I trust I've made myself abundantly clear this time and the information requested about the 'foreclosure fee' in the payoff will be forthcoming immediately.

If you still cannot assist, elevate this to someone with intelligence.

Guess I'm not on Tia's Christmas Card List!

Isn't it sad that with the centralization of our economy the people handling our financial records don't know how to think?
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Financial Freedom - no intelligence

I'm handling a guardianship where my ward has real estate with a 'reverse mortgage' held by Financial Freedom.  As a rule I do not like reverse mortgages but recognize they can be a useful tool in certain limited circumstances.

Well over a month ago I called Financial Freedom, faxed the Court Order appointing me, and asked them to send me some information.  I haven't heard from them at all.  This is not unusual -- in my opinion  Financial Freedom is among the top ten worst real estate loan servicers out there. Whenever I mention their name to a colleague doing Real Estate, Elder Law, or Probate, I get a groan in return.

The other day I went to their website to see about calling in; they have a utility called "Search Financial Freedom".  I entered 'Intelligent Individual" -- the response was "Results: 0"

Yep.  'nuff said.

A block too far

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My daughter Allyson is in a wheelchair.  She's been in one pretty much all her 21 + years.  I've worked to encourage her to do her own thing - be independent - and I'm very proud of her accomplishments and independence.

Allyson can't drive, nor can she 'ride the bus' if she wants to go somewhere. I can't take her everywhere either.  So she relies on an outfit called RADAR, an acronym for Roanoke Agencies Dial A Ride. RADAR is one of two handicap public transportation services in the area; the other is CORTRAN, for County of Roanoke Transportation.  RADAR serves the Cities of Roanoke and Salem; CORTRAN serves Roanoke County.

What happens if you want to cross the border?  Apparently you can't do it!

Allyson recently joined Fellowship Community Church (FCC).  She loves it there, and they are very supportive of her.  FCC provides transportation as part of its ministry on Sundays; other days there are members who might be able to help but the folks at that church have day jobs they need to go to. They've got a function this coming Wednesday night and since she wants to go, she called RADAR and booked the trip.  RADAR called back and canceled.

The Problem:  Fellowship Community Church is about two blocks over the line into the County from the City of Salem. So RADAR can't take her according to the rules.  Funny thing:  RADAR has taken Allyson to Fellowship several times in the past. And gee, it appears that they use the same vehicles as CORTRAN.

Question:  Can a CORTRAN rider be taken to Roanoke City or Salem? If they can, why can't a Salem/Roanoke City rider be taken to a Roanoke County destination? 

The RADAR/CORTRAN/etc. website gives absolutely NO rules of where you can and can't go. Call them and they say that Roanoke Valley Metro sets the rules.  Go to the Valley Metro Site and nowhere do you find the rule that you can't cross the city/county line. Unless you're going to Tanglewood Mall, which is in the county. But forget about going to the doctor's office a block away from Tanglewood. And I haven't even tried to navigate the County's website for more information.

SO, if you live in Salem or Roanoke City and need 'paratransit', don't try to go to Roanoke County or get a job in Roanoke County. And if you live and work in the County and use CORTRAN, don't move to the city or you'll lose your job.

Valley inter-government cooperation?  Not for 'paratransit'. Of course, I'm not surprised.  Our governments hate the poor.
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Deflating Pomposity - war story

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Many years ago we had a state senator from Roanoke who was, shall we say, very enamored with himself.  He was also pompous.  The good news is he only served one term. The better news is that he provided several stories.

The Senator went through a "British" thing.  He wore a cape and a bowler hat and even had one of those silly tiny stick canes. This was complemented by his attempt at affecting a British Accent. Trust me, Henry Higgens would have seen through him in a second.  This story is about the beginning of the end of that phase.

Back in the day we also had air commuter service with Richmond - our state capital. One day my friend Harold was there with a client (I'll call him 'Irving') from the coalfields appearing before some agency.  After the hearing they were at the Richmond Airport waiting for their return flight when The Senator came by.  Harold, thinking he could get some brownie points with Irving, hails The Senator.

The Senator, seeing Harold (and Harold being a member of Roanoke City Council at the time) came over to chat.  "Harold, my good man, How awre you today?  You're looking jolly good you know."

Harold:  Just fine, Senator, I'd like you to meet Irving Puffuffnick; he's a client of mine and we've just finished a hearing at XYZ agency"

SEN: "Delighted to make your acquaintance, Irving. Tip Top Barrister you've got there"

IRVING:  "Good to meet you, Senator.  Are you from England?"

SEN:  "No, actually I hail from Roanoke.  Howeva, I did study at Ahxford (Oxford) for two years."

IRVING:  "Well, hell, I was in 'Nam for two years, but I didn't pick up THEIR accent"

The Senator terminated the conversation and moved away.  Shortly thereafter the cape, hat, and stick thing disappeared.

Door Repair underway

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I had to appear in a case at the Roanoke City Courthouse today.  I'm pleased to report that the doors I complained of last week are now being repaired. Even more remarkable is that I counted two workers busy at their task WITHOUT three "supervisors" directing them.

I'm told by a lot of folks who work in the courthouse that they've complained for months about the doors. Heck, I grumbled for some time about them also before I sent my note to the City Attorney.

Isn't it a shame that the City of Roanoke can't seem to get anything done until there's a serious complaint about the problem? And that I had to send my complaint 'outside' the normal chain of command to get it the attention it deserved?

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Disgraceful Maintenance of Roanoke Courthouse

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I know the City of Roanoke doesn't maintain anything worth a darn, unless maybe it's the City Manager's office. The City has a long history of building something bright and shiny and then not taking care of it.

Certainly the Courthouse maintenance is an embarrassing disgrace, and that's what I'm writing about. The courthouse has parquet flooring, and it's showing its age.  Parquet will pop up and the city will cover over it with a piece of carpet duct-taped around the missing area, or they'll block off a section for three or 4 months (happened on the stairwell) until they do an ugly patch job. About a year ago a huge pile of carpet squares was delivered to the courthouse to go over the parquet flooring. It's still piled. But this is just City of Roanoke Maintenance as usual.


Here's what's really ticking me off:

For several MONTHS, the 'automatic doors' used for Handicap Access on the west end (nearest the Mayor's private law office) have been broken. Periodically there are paper signs loosely taped to the door saying 'push', but they are usually torn or blown off in a few days. The doors require too much effort for a disabled person on a walker or in a wheelchair to open. Given that my daughter has been in a wheelchair all her life I'm particularly sensitive to access issues.

As I understand it, the Americans with Disabilities Act requires that handicap accessible devices be maintained in working order.

While the thought of embarrassing the City of Roanoke and its manager (who is fortunately on short time now) with a public Americans with Disabilities Act suit is very tempting, I'm more interested in getting the problem fixed, now.

So I emailed my comments to an Assistant City Attorney I work with from time to time, and asked him to forward my concern to the appropriate powers-that-be.  I also suggested that they confirm to me by 4:30 PM this Friday (Nov. 13) that the repairs have been ordered and will be COMPLETED by November 30.  If so, I'll be quiet.  If not, I'll review how Rossiferous I can really be.

I'll let y'all know what happens.  This is why I moved to Salem - it woulda been fixed in a week.
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