Sunday, December 16, 2018

Why payday lenders hate me . . .

Payday lenders are the scourge of the earth. Just totally pissed one off: he called my 'creditor line' (phone number for creditors of people I've been appointed guardian for), and I called back the number left. My conversation with the collection agent:
CA: Mr. Puffuffnick, to verify you identity, your social security number ends in 1234, correct?
ME: That's close enough.
CA: We're getting ready to send out to the court papers to collect on a pay-day loan.
ME: (loud, obnoxious laughter)
CA: What's so funny?
ME: (in between laughs) You really think I'm gonna pay that?
CA: We'll get a judgment.
ME: (chuckling) so what?
CA: Don't you want to pay it?
ME: (with a helluva smile in my voice) Why would I?
CA: Because you got the money
ME: And had a memorable drunk with it. May even have gotten laid, too!
CA: Don't you want to pay it?
ME: Hell No. Good luck trying!
CA: Have a nice holiday.
ME: I will with the money I'm not sending you.
(end of conversation)

Why collection agents hate me . . .

Since I serve as guardian for a number of people, their creditors try to make me pay them. Most of the time the creditors have bought the account.  See my earlier discussion here:
There is one very memorable call with a CA (CollectionAgent) – and probably my favorite war story.  The individual I was guardian was 94 years old at that time (he’s still alive at 102!).  the call went like this:
CA:  I’m looking for Irving Puffuffnick
ME:  Yeah
CA:  Irving, to verify your identity, does your social security number end in 1234?
ME:  That’s close enough.
CA:  Irving, Sleazo, Inc. has bought your Wells Fargo credit Card Account. You owe $7492.11
ME:  “Cool!”
CA:  We need you to make payments.
ME:  I can send $1.00 per month.
CA:  That’s not enough. Remember you used that money.
ME:  And I had a damn good time with it too.
CA:  Why won’t you pay more?
ME:  I don’t feel like it.  What are you going to do about it?
CA:  We’ll have to sue you
ME:  Hell, son, look at my age.  I could be dead by the time it gets to court!
CA:  (after looking up ‘my’ age)  Wow. You’re really up there! But you sound younger than your age.
ME:  It’s that Viagra, sonny, it’s good for more than humpin’.
CA:  (click)