Sunday, December 16, 2018

Why collection agents hate me . . .

Since I serve as guardian for a number of people, their creditors try to make me pay them. Most of the time the creditors have bought the account.  See my earlier discussion here:
There is one very memorable call with a CA (CollectionAgent) – and probably my favorite war story.  The individual I was guardian was 94 years old at that time (he’s still alive at 102!).  the call went like this:
CA:  I’m looking for Irving Puffuffnick
ME:  Yeah
CA:  Irving, to verify your identity, does your social security number end in 1234?
ME:  That’s close enough.
CA:  Irving, Sleazo, Inc. has bought your Wells Fargo credit Card Account. You owe $7492.11
ME:  “Cool!”
CA:  We need you to make payments.
ME:  I can send $1.00 per month.
CA:  That’s not enough. Remember you used that money.
ME:  And I had a damn good time with it too.
CA:  Why won’t you pay more?
ME:  I don’t feel like it.  What are you going to do about it?
CA:  We’ll have to sue you
ME:  Hell, son, look at my age.  I could be dead by the time it gets to court!
CA:  (after looking up ‘my’ age)  Wow. You’re really up there! But you sound younger than your age.
ME:  It’s that Viagra, sonny, it’s good for more than humpin’.
CA:  (click) 

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